Artery Jokes - 12 Hilarious Artery Jokes

What did the blood cell say before it died in an artery?

I will not die in vein!

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The doctors rushed quickly to remove the bullet which was lodged in his artery...

But it turns out it was all in vain

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What did the doctor say about the organ donor which died from a clotted artery?

"at least his death wasn't in vein"

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How do you kill a root vegetable?

Cut it’s carroted artery.

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The double quarter pounder with cheese from McDonald’s holds a special place in my heart.

Mainly in the Coronary artery.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL Lorena Bobbitts sister also tried to cut off her husband's penis. She missed and hit a major artery, almost killing him.

She was charged with a misdeweiner.

I have my own tunnel of love!

Other people call it a severely clogged artery, but I don't care.

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An engineer accidentally gave a medical school exam. See his answers:

1. Antibody - One who hates his body .

2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure.

3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria .

4. Coma - Punctuation Mark .

5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl .

6. Genes - Blue Denim.

7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work...

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I went to my doctor because I had severe chest pain that wasn't going away

I freaked out when he couldn't figure out what it was and ended up referring me to a cardiologist.

The cardiologist ran some labs and scans and told me to wait for the results in his office.

I was relieved when the doctor came back with the results with a huge smile on his face.
...

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My best friend's wife caught him cheating

She walked in a caught him in bed with another woman. Without hesitation, she grabbed a knife and stared slashing at him. He almost died when she sliced across his upper/inner thigh, because it nearly cut is femoral artery.

He's in the hospital now. And the police picked her up. She only got ...

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Any girl is a squirter...

if you sever an artery

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What do you call a blood vessel with a carrot jammed into it?

A carroted artery.

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