Carrion Jokes

The vultures stopped eating and looked at him, obviously disturbed.

The man casually commented "Carrion."

Why doesn’t a vulture eat the in-flight airline meal?

It eats its carrion…

They said my carrion was too large.

I think that the problem was my carrion.

Only one Carrion permitted on this flight.

dragging some mangled roadkill in its beak. The stewardess looks down in distaste, and asks “Wouldn’t you prefer to put that in the checked luggage compartment?”
And the vulture said “No thanks. It’s carrion.”

I said “Don’t worry. It’s a carrion.”

The vulture says, “No, just my carrion.”

The flight attendant stops him and says he can’t bring that on this flight.

Passenger informs the flight attendant he has a permit, a ticket and permission from the airline to bring the bird.

The flight attendant says “No, not the bird, I mean that bag with two dead mice.”

Passe... read more

I tried to board with two dead comfort cats and they said I could only have one carrion.

A cop comes up to the vulture and shouts, "Hey! What are you doing?"

Startled, the vulture responds, "I'm just eating here."

"Oh," the cop says, "carrion"

As he approached the desk the airline attendant noted the wildebeest carcass but more alarmingly noticed that the suitcase he was dragging was bulging sporadically and clearly contained something large and very much alive. Feeling slightly nervous but determined to do his job the attendant challeng... read more

So he asks his parents whether they can start incorporating some vegetables into their meals.

His father is ashamed of him and says 'No'.

So the young vulture asks if he could bring a carrot to dinner and his mother and father tell him that he is a disgrace to the family and to put the... read more

#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.

*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*

*edit: thank you for the gold benevolent stranger. :-)*

The son sees a large bird flying overhead. Out of a sincere desire to reconnect, he points it out, and says, "Father, is that a hawk?"

Understanding the gesture, the father does not want to correct his son by informing him that it is actually a vulture. Instead, he offers a hint.

"Ca... read more

Because I can't carrion loving you like this.

And the flight attendant says "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."

With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.

"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.

"No, sorry, that's our carrion"

We started arguing about which direction to go, and he stormed off in a huff.

An hour later, I came across his body, being eaten by a vulture.

Carrion, my wayward son.

Carrion My Wayward Son

Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.

He has two dead badgers, one under each wing. The stewardess stops him and says, "I'm sorry sir, you're only allowed one carrion."

They prefer carrion.

A vulture was boarding an airplane but was stopped at the gate and told he couldn't board. They said his carrion was too large.

I recently read a scientific study that was performed to investigate the number of birds being found dead in North America.

The scientists collected the dead bodies to keep accurate amounts of the deceased birds.

After months of collection, the scientists realized that nearly every s... read more

"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."

Carrion bags.

I thought I was allowed one carrion.

"Carrion."

The man replies “No, it’s carrion.”

"Stop carrion on like that," the third crow said.

A Carrion Bag.

What’s the most convenient bird to take in hand luggage when flying?




A carrion crow.


I’ll see myself out.

He said it was his carrion luggage

I’m sorry sir, but this airline does not allow carrion.

So he says to his father, "Dad, can't we eat something else for a change? I'd like to try some vegetables."

The father is outraged, claiming that vultures do not eat vegetables, that is not their way. But the young vulture doesn't give up. He asks again the next day, and the next, and the nex... read more

I was immediately stopped by security and airport staff alike.

"Sir, you can't bring that on a airplane."

"Oh, I thought I was allowed one carrion bag."

A long time ago, in a very flat place, there lived a teenage vulture named Red. He and his father were the only vultures around, and dined on the various animals that were hit by trucks on the highway. As most teenagers do, Red eventually got tired of his diet of dead things.

"Dad" he whined.... read more

It’s only carrion

... and throws a rotting gazelle onto the desk. The counter person shouts "what is this?" and the hyena says "it's my carrion".

A Korean, Ohn Min-Jin, marries an American. They have identical twins and choosing to double down on similarities, they name them "Cari" and "Carrie". The sisters, as they age, are inseparable. As best friends, they even take vacations together.

On one trip, while at the airport, Cari wat... read more

After frantically searching for his son, the man finally finds him standing over a dead animal and poking it with a stick.

“Dad, what’s this?” The boy asks

“Carrion, my wayward son.”

The attendant said I had to check it as luggage. I said, no it’s carrion.

When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, "It's my carrion luggage!"

At the security check the TSA is scanning his luggage, running him through metal detectors, etc. Finally, an attendant stops him at the gate.

"Sir, you're absolutely crawling with bugs. You're going to have to store those un your suitcase or ship them separately."

"Oh, no, it's okay." ... read more

Two buzzards were at the check in counter at their local airport answering the usual questions. The desk agent finally noticed the piece of rotting gazelle they had brought with them.

"Are you going to check that?" the agent asks.

"No. That's my carrion."

Because he ate his carrion.

He was disappointed to learn that the airline would only allow one carrion per customer

He approaches the terminal gates, but airport security stops him.

"Your vulture has to be checked in, and shipped with the luggage." Security said.

The man replied "What do you mean checked in? This is my carrion bird."

... He has a dead rabbit under each arm. The stuardess turns: "I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one item of carrion"

They wouldn't let him bring his carrion.


Sorry.

As he was driving he became very lost. He couldn't find his way back to his family back at the motel they we're staying at. He decided to call his father and ask for directions back. As he was talking to his father he spot large vultures in a circle eating something on the ground. He asked "Dad, wha... read more

The flight attendant stops him, shaking his head.

"Sorry sir, you can't bring that on here. No carrion."

The eagle replied: No thanks. I'll just have my carrion.

Carrion people

They only ever have carrion baggage.

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

and he's got a deer carcass in his claws. The TSA agent turns to the vulture and says, "That deer carcass smells horrific, surely you are going to check it on?" The vulture looks at the agent, smiles and says, "Nope, it's carrion."

So this vulture is returning home from an much needed overseas vacation. As she passes through the customs line one of the agents asks, "Do you have any checked luggage?" To which the vulture replies, "Nope, just carrion."

The check-in attendant tells him:

"Sir, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave either your dog or your backpack."

"What? Why can't I bring both?"

"Rules say only one carrion per customer."

A vulture boards a plane and sits in his seat. Almost immediately he pulls the smelliest, nastiest looking meat from a bag.

Seeing this the stewardess asks "sir, what is that?"

The vulture replies "oh this? It's just my carrion"

Carrion.