Brick Wall Jokes - 41 Hilarious Brick Wall Jokes

What did the fish say when it ran into the brick wall?

Dam

P.s. sorry if you know this one

How do you throw an egg againts a brick wall without breaking it?

It doesn’t matter, there is no way an egg would actually break brick wall.

Simon Lizotte once threw a vinyl disc straight into a brick wall at 90 mph

Sounds like a broken record

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick wall?

A: A brick wall's only been laid once.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is walking around an insane asylum with a huge brick wall on all four sides....

He here's chanting on the other side, "Twenty seven! Twenty seven! Twenty seven!"

Curious, he walks around the wall looking for a way to see in. Suddenly, he sees a perfect hole in the shape of a circle in the wall, about eight feet up. Wondering what the chanting is about, he searches until ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When the mosquito flew head first into a brick wall, what was the last thing that went through his mind?

His ass.

Two fish are swimming in a river when they both run into a brick wall...

One looks at the other and says "dam"

Why is the background of r/jokes a brick wall and neon sign?

Because everything's old and reused, just like the background.

I was layin a brick wall, when all the sudden my neighbour shot it into pieces with a small howitzer.

He immediately became my mortar enemy.

First thing every morning I punch a brick wall as hard as I can

Because your best days start with break fist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three construction workers are building a brick wall in the middle of a swamp.

During a break, the first man, Joe, says, "Let's have a brick throwing competition. Whoever can throw his brick the highest wins!"

"That sounds like fun; I'm in!" Replied the second man, Tom.

"But how will we measure who's goes the highest?" inquired Jim, the third man.

"Simple,...

Harry Potter woke up in hospital

"You've been in a coma for eight years", said the surgeon. "You ran in to a brick wall. LMFAO".

A journalist is tasked with writing a human interest piece on the Western Wall in Jerusalem.

He decides he will take a month and observe those who come to pray. After a few days he notices one elderly man who arrives at the same time each day. The old man struggles to kneel before the wall, prays for ten minutes, struggles to stand, and then leaves.

The next day, the journalist appr...

A little boy is sitting with his grandfather (Hans) on a hill overlooking their small town.

The grandfather points out a church in the middle of town and says, "you see that church? I built it, but do they call me "Hans the Church Builder"? No."

A couple minutes later, Hans points out a long brick wall along the outskirts of town. He says to his grandson, "you see that brick wall? I...

What do fat chicks and brick walls have in common?

They both get laid by Mexicans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun is walking down the street at night ...

And sees a drunk man staggering her way. She silently asks "please God, protect this poor soul". The drunk staggers closer, then out of nowhere punches the nun square in the nose! She drops, then slowly gets up and says "please God, forgive this man, it's the alcohol demon over him". She gets to he...

Family vacation

A family of five is going on vacation. They've rented an RV for the cross country trip.
They loaded the RV with household items, clothing, recreational gear, pets and food. Off they go!

The car crashes into a brick wall minutes after starting the journey. Everyone is killed except the pet ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Red Riding Hood sets out to go visit her grandmother, who lives in another village

As she's walking on the forest road, she sees the big, bad wolf hiding behind a shrub. She stops and says:

\-My, what big red eyes you have!

The wolf looks at her and leaves without saying a word, disappearing in the dense forest. Little red riding hood continues walking on the same fo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bricklayer

An old man walks into a bar and approaches the bartender.

Bartender: "Hey, can I get you anything?"

Old Man: "No no no... You see that brick wall back there? I laid that wall brick, by brick, by brick, but nobody calls me the bricklayer."

The bartender acknowledges this and move...

What's the definition of embarrassment?

Running into a brick wall with an erection and breaking your nose.

It was hard talking to someone in East Germany in 1961.

I come from the West and man, it was like talking to a brick wall.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kind of a long joke, but it is my personal favorite to tell. I hope you all like it.

A husband and wife are driving on the highway when suddenly the wife turns to her husband and says

"I want a divorce."

The man says nothing only speeds up slightly.

"Not only do I want a divorce but I'm taking the house, the car, the bank accounts, the kids, and the credit cards...

Do You Smell That?

Bill’s wife goes out to buy a car. The salesman says, I recommend this one. She asks why. The salesman says, “Because it has hydraulic backspin brakes. Get in and I’ll show you.”

He drives the car 100 miles an hour toward a brick wall, and when he’s 100 feet away he jams on the brakes. They s...

Three hungry vampires were going to feed one night

They decided amongst themselves that they would go out and feed one vampire at the time, while the other two watched over their den.
The first vampire went out.
After an hour he came back to the den with blood covering his teeth.
- "Where did you go to feed?" the other two vampires asked...

A man died and was spirited to Heaven....

...where he met St. Peter at the gate. "Welcome to Heaven. I'll be showing you around."

They walked a short way and came upon a group of people singing, shouting and raising their arms in the air..."This is where the pentacostal followers worship."

They walked a little further and sa...

A secret governmental team was recently discovered...

There are 5 members, all equipped with their own devastating properties:

First is Wall, a bulky tank that has the strength capacity to destroy a brick wall in a single punch. His threatening amount of muscles can make the strongest men run in terror.

Next is Ssss. Nobody knows much abo...

A man walks by an insane asylum...

An man walks by an insane asylum and hears the inmates gleefully shouting "21! 21! 21" As he gets closer he sees a hole in the brick wall which he approaches so he can peek in and see what's going on. The inmates poke a stick through the hole, poking him in the eye, and yell "22! 22! 22!"

A Vampire is teaching his sons how to hunt

He sends the first one to hunt and he returns in 2 hours with blood in his mouth.

The father goes: 2 hours?! Good job, what did you bite?

The son goes: Do you see that tiger over there?

Father: Well done, Well done.

He then sends his second son and he returns in 3...

A drunk German and Russian are walking around town with a sober Brit

After a few too many, the group decides to head home but the two drunks can't seem to walk in a straight line, bumping into everything in sight as the Brit keeps them from hurting themselves. Fed up with babysitting them, the Brit decides to have some fun.

The German and Russian first bump in...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A news reporter goes to see a Jewish man who has been going to the western wall in Israel to pray once a day for 70 years

the reporter goes up to him and says, "hello I"m a reporter for the BBC and we know you"re quite famous around this wall so we were wondering if we could ask you a few questions." The man agrees and she asks, "so we were wondering; what have you actually been praying for all of these years?"The man ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Johan, the ...

I was passing through a local village and decided to take a break from my travels and rest at the inn. Fortunately, the inn was attached to the local pub in which all the locals gathered for evening drinks. After dropping my bags off, I was excited to spend time and get to the know the town folk. As...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man...

A CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out.

She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple with a rough patch go to councelling

A married couple hit a rough patch, so they book to see a relationship counsellor. The counsellor tries a few therapy techniques, but nothing works, it's like talking to two brick walls. Finally, he picks up a bass guitar and starts to play, simple at first, then gradually more and more intricate. T...

An Irishman leaves the pub one night...

He drunkenly stumbles down the sidewalk, yelling obscenities. A Nun happens to pass by the Irishman and gives him a smile. The drunken fool suddenly begins to punch the Nun repeatedly. He slams her against a brick wall and kicks her while she's down. At this point a crowd of horrified on-lookers ha...

Dirty Jokes for Grandma

A sailor comes to port, and decides he really needs to get laid. So he walks into town, and sees a sign- "Sisters of Mercy Convent & Brothel". He walks into what appears to be a church. There's a nun sitting by a table near the door. She intuits what it is he's looking for, and says, put $5 in t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Hermit

A man had a tiny penis. He went to doctors,surgeons, faith healers , witch doctors etc to try and get it larger.
All their knowledge was in vain as they could do nothing about it.
A relative of his who saw this, told him about a hermit who lived on the peak of the Himalayas who had been know...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One Saturday night, John and William conspired to steal a crate of rolls from the baker

As they wondered where to take their stolen loot, John suggested the cemetery, as no clear headed person would dare to take a Saturday night stroll among the graves.

Upon arriving at this questionable hangout, the gate proved to be quite a cumbersome obstacle to overcome. In the mad scramble ...

So, I visited my buddy at the hospital...

...but I couldn't find his room. After an hour of searching, I met a helpful nurse who told me to "head straight, take a right, and then head through Ward E".

Once I got to Ward E, I could see my buddy's room just down the hall. As I was walking, I noticed a few nurses lingering around ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Irish men are digging a ditch.

Two irish men are digging a ditch while a third British man keeps watch on their progress. One Irish man asks t'other "why is it that we have to be down here in this mud while the Brit sits up there on his lazy arse." The second Irish man, indignant at this sudden revelation, stomps up to the man on...

Two Polish janitors are unhappy because they always get passed over for promotions.

Anatol and Artur are two Polish janitors. They always seem to get passed over for promotions. They discuss the issue and decide that Artur will ask the boss about it.

Artur goes to his boss. "Why are me an Anatol always passed over for promotions? We work hard."

The boss says, "It's no...

Three strings are going out for a night on the town.

The strings go to a popular bar and the first string walks up to the bar and says to the bartender, "Hey, barkeep! Three beers, please!"
The bartender starts to pour three beers when he turns to the string and says, "Wait just a minute. Are you a string? We don't serve your kind here!"
So the...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.