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Breastfed Jokes

I was breastfed until 3

But enough about my day, how was yours?

I fondly look back at when I was breastfed...

Thanks for the mammaries

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Irish triplets walk into a bar

Three Irish triplets walk into a bar named Patty, Mick & Tat. Tat makes his way to the bathroom leaving Patty and Mick to order the first round. Mick asks the bartender for 3 pints of Guinness, and whilst he’s pouring he inquisitively asks “are you three triplets?”

“Yes we are” answers Mi...

I was so ugly as a baby

That when my mother breastfed me, she used to close her eyes and think of other babies.

A man and his ex-wife are in court to fight over the custody of their 2 year old son.

Judge: Mrs. Jones, why do you think you should have custody of your son?

Woman: Your honor, I had to go through extreme pain to gave birth to my son and I breastfed him by myself for 24 months!

Judge: What about you sir? What do you reply to that?

Man: Your honor I only have one...

I was on the train this morning...

I was on the train this morning and I sat next to a woman with a newborn baby. She asked if I minded if she breastfed, and I said, "No, just don't my to hard."
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