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Bodybuilder Jokes

Two dead bodybuilders meet each other in hell

Dude 1: Hey there man, you know where I can get a protein shake around here?


Dude 2: There’s no whey in hell

4 guys meet in hell. A Bodybuilder, a Muslim, a Buddhist monk, and an American.

Satan comes over, whip in hand, and says:


-Those who endure 10 whiplashes can go to Heaven, the rest will stay here in Hell!


The American glances at the bodybuilder and is about to argue when Satan interrupts him,


-Everyone can choose 1 thing to place at your back a...

Bodybuilders agree on most methods of building muscle...

but they can never agree on which is the best whey.

My bodybuilder friends are getting a divorce

They clearly weren't working out.

What do you call a Muslim bodybuilder?

A muscleman

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in the world’s heaviest light bulb?

Just one, it’s light work.

A bodybuilder asked his doctor: "what's better, whey protein, or pea protein?"

"Weigh protein, of course!" replied the doctor. "For one thing, weighing protein isn't a potential sign of kidney failure."

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

No Whey José.

A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and starts flexing in front of a blonde woman. She exclaims...

"Wow, what a great chest you have!"

"He says, "Solid dynamite, babe."

He then takes off his pants and the blonde says, "Wow, what massive calves you have!"

He flexes his leg muscles and says, "Like I said, pure dynamite, sweetheart."

Then he removes his underwear and the ...

Why was the bodybuilder banned from Walmart?

Shoplifting.

What do you call a jewish bodybuilder?

Dr. Frankenstein

What's a bodybuilder's favorite arcade game?

"Ass-steroids." [(Asteroids)](https://youtu.be/_TKiRvGfw3Q)

A bodybuilder meets a woman at a bar, ...

and after a number of drinks, they agreed to go back to his place.

As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for the act, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See there, baby? That's 1000 pounds of Dynamite!"
...

What do you say when an Italian bodybuilder dies?

He pasta whey

Did you guys hear about those two bodybuilders that got divorced?

Apparently their relationship just wasn't working out.

What do undead bodybuilders crave?

*"gaaaaains...."*

What laundry detergent do bodybuilders use?

Gainz

Imagine dating a bodybuilder and...

It doesn't work out. :)

Where do bodybuilders buy groceries?

Swole Foods

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the butthole have in common with the bodybuilder?

Roids

A vampire asks for a glass of bodybuilder’s blood.

After taking a swig, he exclaims, “That’s some strong stuff!”

Why did the bodybuilder borrow a dictionary?

Because he wanted to know how to define muscle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bodybuilder takes public transport to work..

Bus conductor ask him to buy a ticket

Bodybuilder "I never buy ticket!"

Bus conductor was a thin fella so he couldn't argue much with him.

Next day Bodybuilder again takes the same Bus to work.

Same story he again denies to buy the ticket.

Conductor was very frust...

Why do all bodybuilders train their Abs?

It's practically oblique-atory

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woman Bodybuilder

A woman bodybuilder goes into a doctor's office:


**Woman Bodybuilder:** "Doctor, I've been taking steroids and I've grown a cock.

**Doctor:** "Anabolic?"

**Woman Bodybuilder:** "No, just a cock."

Italian Bodybuilder

Did you hear about the Italian Bodybuilder? He loves astrophysics! He even said:
"I love-a steroids"

Two bodybuilders walk into a bar.

"Ouch," says the bar.

What do you call an unemployed bodybuilder?

Big guns for hire. :-D

Oki oki I’ll see myself out.

The Bodybuilder Bee left his wife.

She called a friend for a shoulder to cry on, and she rushed over with chocolate and two bottles of wine.
As they were sitting there, talking and drinking, the now-ex wife said „I still don’t understand it. He said the reason was because he wanted to be a pastor?!“
Her friend replied „Well, he...

What did the bodybuilder say when he saw the store had sold out of protein powder?

No whey!

Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

He was dead lifting

Why did the bodybuilder go to jail?

He was caught shoplifting

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bodybuilder marries a pretty woman.

"All right, there are going to be some rules in my house. I want the toilet seat to always be up, the TV always on ESPN, and if I'm not going out with my friends, I want a good, hot meal by six o'clock."
"Ok," replied his wife. "But just know that every day at seven there will be sex in this hous...

How do bodybuilders combat coronavirus?

Whey Isolate

A bodybuilder just knocked on my door

When he moved to the neighborhood the courts ordered him to tell everyone he is a flex offender.

There's nothing worse than a bunch of demanding bodybuilders

They always have to get their whey

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If wrestlers have biceps, and bodybuilders have triceps, what do surgeons have?

Forceps
(I hate my shit life)

What do zombie bodybuilders want more than anything?

GaaAAAiiNnns!!

What's a bodybuilder's favorite movie?

Fifty Shakes of Whey.

What do you call a married female bodybuilder?

Hypertrophy wife

Bodybuilders can’t scratch their own backs.

Thats it, thats the joke.

What did one bodybuilder ask the other?

How much do you whey bro?

How do you congratulate a Jewish bodybuilder?

Muscle Tov!

Why are bodybuilders great pallbearers?

They're fantastic dead lifters

A bodybuilder was killed when a fire broke out in my gym.

Staff tried to escort him out, but he wanted to feel the burn.

A bodybuilder drops his protein shake

Everyone in the gym shouts "Wheyyyyy"

The Longer this lock-down carries on the more i find myself acting like a bodybuilder.

Not the actual exercise, More the eating every 2 hours.

I can’t stand bodybuilders who smoke weed.

They always act so high and mighty.

What is a bodybuilders favorite subject?

Physiques

How would you describe a bodybuilder who doesn't have six packs

Abnormal.

What is a Mexican bodybuilder's favorite supplement?

Güey protein.

What would Theodore Roosevelt be called if he was a professional bodybuilder?

Teddy Swolevelt.








Yes, I know it's awful, Just had to get it out of my head.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man has sex with a woman bodybuilder

After a while, he leaves the bedroom and joins his friend, who never thought he could manage a bodybuilder, in the living room:

"Dude, my dick is like Sonic"

"Is it fast?!"

"No, it's blue"

Why didn't the dyslexic bodybuilder workout when his stomach hurt?

He felt it was an Abd Omen

What do you call a bodybuilder that can't sing?

Muscle tone deaf.

What is every bodybuilder's favorite city?

Gainsboro.

Does anyone believe the bodybuilder who claims he never used protein suppliments?

No whey.

What does a bodybuilder do while waiting in a long line?

Weights

Why do bodybuilders get huge when they consume protein?

Because they eat whey too much

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC] Did you hear the one about the douchebag bodybuilder with the anal fissure?

He's one ripped asshole.

I don't believe you can become a successful bodybuilder without the use of supplements.

There's just no whey.

abstain

A bodybuilder walks into a bar and orders a glass of red wine. He then takes off his tight tank top and pours the wine all over his midriff. "What the heck?!" The bartender exclaims. "What did you do that for?" "My personal trainer told me to abstain from alcohol," the bodybuilder replies.

A blind man gets into a blondes only bar

He approaches the bar, asks for a beer, and tells her:

- Do you want to hear a very funny joke on blondes?

- Ohh man, you got into the wrong place with this joke! I am 200 pounds blonde barwoman, at your right there is a blonde bodybuilder, at the right there is a blond black belt on k...

What do really jacked guys and moms have in common?

They are both bodybuilders.

Contest in the local bar

A bar tender was so confident that he promised free drinks for life to the person that could squeeze more juice from a lemon than him.

A hulk of bodybuilder accepted the challenge and squeezed with all his might to no avail. A small geek with wire rim glasses sits quietly chuckling at the fut...

Blonde joke walks into a bar.

A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says; “Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?” The big woman replies; “Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something. I’m blond, six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I’m a professional triathlete and...

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