A bodybuilder and a blonde

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have!"


He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby."


He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!" The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite,...

Two bodybuilders are having a conversation in Hell.

Man 1: “Hey dude, do you think there is anywhere down here where I could get a protein shake?”

Man 2: “Dude, there’s no whey in Hell.”

Bodybuilders agree on most methods of building muscle...

...but they can never agree on which is the best whey.

Two bodybuilders walk into a bar.

"Ouch," says the bar.

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A bodybuilder marries a pretty woman.

"All right, there are going to be some rules in my house. I want the toilet seat to always be up, the TV always on ESPN, and if I'm not going out with my friends, I want a good, hot meal by six o'clock."
"Ok," replied his wife. "But just know that every day at seven there will be sex in this hous...

A Bodybuilder Enters Hell

After a full day of hard labor, he asks Satan , "Hey man, is there somewhere I can get a protein shake around here?".


Satan replies, " There's no whey in hell!!! ".

Why was the giant bodybuilder arrested?

For shoplifting.

How do bodybuilders combat coronavirus?

Whey Isolate

A vampire asks for a glass of bodybuilder’s blood.

After taking a swig, he exclaims, “That’s some strong stuff!”

The Longer this lock-down carries on the more i find myself acting like a bodybuilder.

Not the actual exercise, More the eating every 2 hours.

Why did the bodybuilder have a midlife crisis?

He lost his whey

Blonde joke walks into a bar.

A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says; “Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?” The big woman replies; “Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something. I’m blond, six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I’m a professional triathlete and...

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein?

No whey Jose.

A bodybuilder just knocked on my door

When he moved to the neighborhood the courts ordered him to tell everyone he is a flex offender.

What do you call an unemployed bodybuilder?

Big guns for hire. :-D

Oki oki I’ll see myself out.

There's nothing worse than a bunch of demanding bodybuilders

They always have to get their whey

A bodybuilder meets a woman at a bar, ...

and after a number of drinks, they agreed to go back to his place.

As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for the act, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See there, baby? That's 1000 pounds of Dynamite!"
...

You know who my favorite bodybuilder is?

Dr. Victor Frankenstein

What do zombie bodybuilders want more than anything?

GaaAAAiiNnns!!

Why did the bodybuilder want to train on an island?

For maximum isolation.

I tried doing a stand-up act for a bunch of bodybuilders.

Tough crowd.

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If wrestlers have biceps, and bodybuilders have triceps, what do surgeons have?

Forceps
(I hate my shit life)

Why did the bodybuilder borrow a dictionary?

Because he wanted to know how to define muscle.

What's a bodybuilder's favorite movie?

Fifty Shakes of Whey.

I can’t stand bodybuilders who smoke weed.

They always act so high and mighty.

A bodybuilder was killed when a fire broke out in my gym.

Staff tried to escort him out, but he wanted to feel the burn.

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A woman bodybuilder goes to the doctor and says "I've taken that many steroids I've grown a penis"

Doctor says "anabolic?"

Bodybuilder replies "no just a penis"

What would Theodore Roosevelt be called if he was a professional bodybuilder?

Teddy Swolevelt.








Yes, I know it's awful, Just had to get it out of my head.

Why didn't the dyslexic bodybuilder workout when his stomach hurt?

He felt it was an Abd Omen

How would you describe a bodybuilder who doesn't have six packs

Abnormal.

Does anyone believe the bodybuilder who claims he never used protein suppliments?

No whey.

Italian Bodybuilder

Did you hear about the Italian Bodybuilder? He loves astrophysics! He even said:
"I love-a steroids"

What is a bodybuilders favorite subject?

Physiques

What did one bodybuilder ask the other?

How much do you whey bro?

A bodybuilder drops his protein shake

Everyone in the gym shouts "Wheyyyyy"

Why do bodybuilders get huge when they consume protein?

Because they eat whey too much

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

How do you congratulate a Jewish bodybuilder?

Muscle Tov!

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[OC] Did you hear the one about the douchebag bodybuilder with the anal fissure?

He's one ripped asshole.

What does a bodybuilder do while waiting in a long line?

Weights

What is a Mexican bodybuilder's favorite supplement?

Güey protein.

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A man has sex with a woman bodybuilder

After a while, he leaves the bedroom and joins his friend, who never thought he could manage a bodybuilder, in the living room:

"Dude, my dick is like Sonic"

"Is it fast?!"

"No, it's blue"

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I had such a strange dream last night...

everything was reversed. Vegans were eating meat. Christians were having un-married sex. Bodybuilders were fat and eating junk food. And the weirdest of all I was getting laid.

"Hey guys, who wants to hear a blonde joke?", says a blind man after settling himself down on a stool in a bar. The question was met with dead silence.

After a few seconds pause, the bartender walks up to the blind fella and puts his face right up to his nose and says, in a deep menacing voice:

"I'm blond, and I don't appreciate blonde jokes. My wife is right next to me, she's blonde and she doesn't appreciate blonde jokes either. And best o...

Frank went to the gym

As he wants to loose weight to get a girlfriend.

The receptionist gave him some promotion pack options of “lose 1kg guaranteed”, “lose 3 kg guaranteed”, “lose 5kg guaranteed” and “lose 10kg guaranteed”. However you must do 1 then 3 then 5 then 10.

He accepted the offer and the receptio...

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A drunk walks into a bar he's never been in before...

He sees an enormous pickle jar on the top shelf that is overflowing with $100 bills. He asks the bartender for a beer and a shot, and decides to ignore it. Six drinks in, curiosity gets the best of him.
"Wuz, uh... what's wilth the jar o' money?"
The bartender replies that there is a $100 buy ...

Why are bodybuilders great pallbearers?

They're fantastic dead lifters

What do you call a bodybuilder that can't sing?

Muscle tone deaf.

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Zeus is offering a seat in his Pantheon to one who can complete his trials of strength.

An esteemed hero of all men approaches Olympus and thinks hey, why the hell not. If I lose I may be disappointed, but if I win I will join the legendary Gods of the Pantheon!


So he makes his way to Zeus, excited to see what is in store for him in order to prove his worth to the Gods. Al...

An old man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of wrinkly, dried up lemon rinds...

An old man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of wrinkly, dried up lemon rinds. He sits down and orders a beer from one hell of a beefy, muscled bartender. He takes a shakey sip from his dark, dark beer, puts it back down, and asks about the lemons as old and shriveled as he is.

"We have a ...

I don't believe you can become a successful bodybuilder without the use of supplements.

There's just no whey.

A man sees two people engaged in a game of Chess at the gym

The man asks the two: “Why are you two here?”


One of them replies: “Those bodybuilders over there said it was Chess day”

A bar owner puts out a challenge

He puts an ad in the paper saying that if anyone can beat his bartender in a feat of strength, then he will give them 10,000$. So people come from all over trying to win the money, bodybuilders, construction workers, boxers, but nobody can beat him. In order to win, they must squeeze just one drop o...

[Long]Two men sitting at a bar, one asks the other "Do you want to hear a blonde joke"?

The other guy says "Yeah sure, I could do with a laugh".

The first guy is just about to start when he is tapped on the shoulder, and turns round to see three bulked up blondes. The one who tapped him on the shoulder says to him :

"I am the worlds premier female bodybuilder, and a blond...

Contest in the local bar

A bar tender was so confident that he promised free drinks for life to the person that could squeeze more juice from a lemon than him.

A hulk of bodybuilder accepted the challenge and squeezed with all his might to no avail. A small geek with wire rim glasses sits quietly chuckling at the fut...

A blind man walks into a bar...

A blind man walks into a bar, orders a drink
and says, "Hey! Does anyone want to hear a
blonde joke?" Then the woman next to him
taps his shoulder and says, "Listen mister, I'm a
bodybuilder, 5 foot 9 of pure muscle, and I'm
blonde. The bouncer over there, he's a martial
arts exper...

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