How do scientists get rid of bodies?

Barium

Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies.

Women’s heads are much harder to put back on in real life.

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An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba,


I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the lot for me.


Love Dad.
\~\~\...

What? You couldn't see what was wrong with raffling out bodies at the graveyard?

Dead giveaway, man

A man asks an undertaker "how many bodies are buried in this cemetery"?

He replies with "All of them."

Three vampires are gathering in the middle of the night to compare their strength...

Says the first : See that woman over there? Wait... <wooshes away and comes back after 20 seconds, the mouth still dripping of fresh blood>. See - it only took me 20 seconds to completely empty that body!

Says the second : Not bad, but uh... see that village over there? Wait... <woos...

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How many dead

How many dead bodies does it take to change a lightbulb?.
.
.
Well its not 6 cause my basement is still dark.

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It took a lot of balls for my friend to join the new reality tv show called “Embarrassing Bodies”.

Three, to be exact.

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I was driving with my wife recently and we were talking about what we wanted to happen to our bodies when we died. I want to be cremated and put in a pot of chili. She asked why.

So I can tear that ass up one last time.

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