When I was young I decided to go to medical school. At the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS to form the name of an important body part.

Those who said spine are doctors today. The rest of us went to flight school.

Did you hear about the guy who won an award for having the most extra body parts?

He won the Chernobyl Piece Prize.

Street gangs of southern LA have started decapitating each other and using the body parts to trade for goods...

The most valuable of which is the Crip toe currency.

What's a Canadians favorite body part?

The Lumber Vertebrae

What body part makes the best student?

The eye, because it’s a good pupil!

Annoyed at my constant reminders to stop eating her own body parts,

my wife threw up her hands in frustration.

I had no idea I wasn't allowed to remove body parts from the morgue until the mortician told me.

When he said it, I was takin' a back.

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The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to...

When you die what body part dies last?

The pupils, they dilate

What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters P, E, N, I, S?

Your spine.

What body parts always lose?

Da' feet.

(I heard this one on the radio on the way to work)

Name the body part that your mom has 2 and a cow has 4.

Legs.

Different body parts rate each other

The Brain to the Liver: “You’re a 6.”

The Spleen to the Colon: “You’re a 7.”

The Urethra to the Bladder: “Urinate.”

Which specific body part makes a ton of movie blockbusters?

This knee.

I'm a fruit. If you take away my first letter, I'm a body part. If you take away my first and last letter, I suck. What am I?

pear

What are ghost’s favorite body parts

Boooobs and Booooty!!!!

Which body part continues to live even after a person dies?

The Liver

I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.

Maybe I should quit while I’m a head

It’s weird that we count votes based on body parts...

Let me see all the eyes... now the nose...

Did you hear about the road made of body parts?

They call it the Organ Trail

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This man’s body parts having a meeting to decide how to survive the pandemic.

Brain has the chair.

He starts: Ok Everyone. Things looking bleak: a deadly virus is going around, the master is sitting home all day and not getting enough sun or exercise, he lost his job and started drinking – so The hard times are ahead. We need to get together and think how we can survi...

What were the monster's first words after Dr. Franksenstein brought him back to life after sewing together different body parts?

Thanks for re-membering me.

I hate when people make jokes about body parts

Eyelash out when I hear them

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The Most Important Body Part

One day the different parts of the body were having an
argument to see which should be in charge.

The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most
important and I should be in charge."

The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you
know where we are, so I'm the m...

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What’s the most loyal body part?

Dick.

During hard times, it stands up for you.

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What is the average man's most sensitive body part when masturbating?

The ears, so he can hear if he's about to be caught.

When I found out my uncle scavenges body parts to play cricket with...

I hardly batted an eyelid.

What's the slowest-moving body part in the entire animal kingdom?

Mole Asses.

A serial killer who was known for taking body parts as trophies

A serial killer who was known for taking body parts as trophies was captured after attacking a uniformed police officer and severing her arm. When asked why he went after the officer despite knowing the danger, he simply replied, "It was a wrist I was willing to take."

I had to fire some of my body parts this morning.

My bowels were relieved of their duties.

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Two men walk into an Irish bar, one of them pushing a wheelbarrow full of body parts...

When the bartender sees this the bartender exclaims "Jesus Christ, Murphy, what in God's name is that?"

Murphy replies "Don't you recognize me old pal Smitty?"

"Well what the hell happened to him?"

Murphy sighs "Well me and Smitty and Mickey here we're walking down the street ...

Put these letters together to form a word. P N E I S Clue: a body part that is very important when erect.

The answer is spine.

I used to go into shopping centres and rotate the body parts of the mannequins...

I don't think everyone noticed, but I certainly turned a few heads.

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Three men with tiny body parts meet up...

One has tiny hands, one has tiny feet, and one has a tiny penis. They all think theirs are the tiniest in the world. So they go to Guinness World Records to make it official.
The first guy walks in, and comes out with a plaque in his hand and a big smile on his face, and says, “I have the tinies...

If you had to choose one body part to smell . . .

Would you pick your nose ?

What’s a woman’s favorite body part?

I can’t remember what it’s called but it’s on the tip of my tongue.

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Of all my body parts my dick has the most mood swings..

It is either up or down

I have a problem with people that are missing body parts.

I guess I might just be lack-toes-intolerant.

I got an email from my girlfriend. It said, "Can you send me a photograph of my best body part?"

So I emailed her back.

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What's the second most talkative body part behind your ass

It's your mouth

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Injuring a part of your body makes you realize how many movements use that body part.

Like spraining your wrist and then having difficulty masturbating with your other hand.

My wife keeps insisting that I tell her my favorite body part and vegetable

I told her eye yam but she doesnt listen

My wife left me because she didn’t like the nicknames I came up with for my own body parts

But it’s fine, with Handjalina Jolie and Jennifer Handiston I don’t need her anyway

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There's a doctor who goes around my neighbourhood handing out body parts...

...he gives me the willies.

What is the most reliable body part?

Your fingers. You can always count on them!

Which body part hurts most when you get hit by a right-angled triangle?

Your sinuses.

Doctor: "What body part would you be okay with losing?"

Patient: "my spine, it's holding me back"

Back in ancient Egypt, the standardized units of measurements were based off the length of the current pharoah's body parts. The pointer finger would be one unit of measurement, the forearm another, and so on.

It could be noted, the pharoah was the ruler.

What body part do adults have two of and children have four of?

Kidneys.

What is a Pot Heads favorite body part?

'ear *cough* 'ear

Out of all my body parts, my eyes are in the best shape...

I roll them at least 489 times a day.

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One day, all the parts of the body were talking about who was most important.

THE BRAIN SAID – “Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I am the most important therefore I should be boss.”

THE FEET SAID – “Since I carry him everywhere he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, I am the most important.”

THE EYES SAID – “Since I...

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? ... Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.... Older Woman: Oh, I see. ... Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: You don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and...

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Parts of the body having a debate.

One day all the body parts are gathered together to discuss who amongst them should be the leader.

The brain steps forward and says "I should be the leader for i am the cleverest. I keep everyone organized and find solutions to problems."

Everyone is quite impressed until the heart st...

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All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge...

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I pr...

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Take good care of your ass

It's your only body part that gives a shit.

Contrary to what historians will tell you, Napoleon had a more horrific death.

It turns out, the military leader had walked over an active land mine causing it to explode. Body parts were strewn all over the place. Yeah. That’s right. Napoleon was Blown-apart!

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An inspector goes to a prison’s death row.

The warden tells him, “We punish our inmates humanely based on what crime they committed. Instead of the death penalty, we amputate the body part they committed the crime with.”

The inspector thinks this is a good idea, as it teaches the inmate a lifelong lesson. He sees someone without his r...

“You kick ass!”

Yes I also kick heads, torsos and other body parts.

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America wants to repay its soldiers after the Afghanistan war.

After the Afghanistan war was over, America decided that every soldier can choose a certain part of their body to be measured, and they will get as many thousands of dollars as the lenght of that body part.


First soldier wants to be paid his hight. He will be measured from the tip of his ...

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My Opinion on Body Part Puns?

They're pretty humerus if you ass me.

A father and his two sons were talking in the kitchen

The younger son turns this dad and asks. "Dad, whats a vajayjay."

"That's, just a another name for a woman's body part."

"Like their arms?"

"Yeah, like their arms."

When the young boy walks out of the room the older son looked at his dad and said " Dad thats too far, mom'...

At the beginning of Creation...

God created humanity and he told his angels to assemble all the human parts. There were mountains of; head, arms, legs and every other body parts. And he explained how to assemble the parts. Heads on shoulders, arms by the side, etc.

So they started making a lot of people because they had a l...

Medical College Professor to a girl student...

"Which human body part expands 5 times its normal size...?"

Girl Student : "Sir I can't answer this question, it's too embarrassing..”

Professor asked the same question to a male student.

Male Student : "It's the Pupil of a human eye...”

Professor : "Correct."

Then...

Somewhere in Carpathian Mountains (translated from Ukrainian)

Somewhere in Carpathian Mountains in Western Ukraine a guy gets pulled over by a policeman. After checking his papers, the policeman asks the driver to pop the trunk for him. In there he discovers a heavily mutilated body parts of what used to be a human being.

— What is this?
— A Russian....

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The Gunny's Gun (a military joke)...

U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail.

So, the Joint Chiefs of Staff all get together one day at a tavern in Washington D.C. to brainstorm a solution. After many hours of back an...

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Trucker is hauling a B-double with three containers full of computer parts.

It's getting on toward dark, and so he stops at a steakhouse for a bite.


The first thing he sees is a sign on the door:


NO THONGS


NO SINGLETS


NO NERDS


MANAGEMENT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ADMISSION


No nerds? Weird. But whatever...

A man gets pulled over by the police.

Robert: Is something wrong, officer?

Officer: Yes, you were driving too fast.

Robert: Okay, I understand.

Officer: May I see your driver's license, please?

Robert: I would like to let you see it if I had one.

Officer: You do not have a driver's license?

Robe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People are always arguing whether boobs or ass are better.

But I’d rather have a whole human than just a body part.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting alone at home, when suddenly there’s a knock at his door ...

Standing at the door is a door to door salesman.

Man: Whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.

Salesman: But what I’m selling is very interesting. I’m a purveyor of luxury prosthetics. Allow me to demonstrate.

And he raises the right leg of his pants. His leg is solid gold!...

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