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If no homo makes you no gay, what makes you gay?

J.K. Rowling

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My bartender got extremely offended when I ordered a daiquiri and added "no homo"

Next time I'll just ask him to hold the fruit

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Why can't homosexuals tell jokes

Cuz they can't keep a straight face


Btw I'm not trying to target homos

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What do you call a Russian homo who’s been knighted by the Queen?

Sergei

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I can't stand all this homo and hetero talk lately

It's all Greek to me

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Once in fifth grade this kid called me a homo.

I thought it meant homeless, I was so confused and I said: β€œJeremy you’ve been to my house!”

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How do you say no homo in French?

No Oui oui

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Why do archeologists believe the Neanderthal mated with Homo erectus?

They've found no evidence for the theory they mated with Homo flaccidus.

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When you say, β€œNo homo”, you’re really...

maintaining heterostasis.

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"No homo" [nsfw]

God said as he put the male g-spot several inches up Adam's ass

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[OC] After area 51 raid, Joe drugged and took an alien to his home. When the drug worn off, Joe saw the alien walking towards him with a massive boner and he asked Joe in perfect English with a seducing voice "Who are you, sexy thing"?

Joe replied... Sapien.. No homo

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Who are the most homo-erotic pop group at Hogwarts?

Wand Erection.

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Santa wants to learn the subject Logic

he goes to his friend Banta, and says, this 'Logic' is really difficult for me to understand. Could you please help teach it to me.

Banta: well its really simple. let me give you an example. Do you have an aquarium in your house?

Santa: Yes

Banta: logically there must be fishes ...

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What the Aliens say before they fucked us up?

No Homo.

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Homosexuality should not be accepted in a civilized society.

It is an abomination. "sexuality" has a Latin root and "homo" is Greek. Really the word should be ideosexuality!

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What did Mother Earth say when she wiped out every last human being on the earth?

"No Homo"

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Heaven Rides

*Note: I heard this joke from my dad who heard it from his grandmother, so if this isn't as good as it should be sorry.

3 guy friends (no homo) die and go to heaven, where together they are asked questions by St. Peter. After passing all questions,
St. Peter asks, "so far you have done we...

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A student is looking for a university minor...

He finds a professor of assumption...

He asks what it is all about.

The professor asks, "Do you have a dog?"

"Yes, I do"

"So I assume you have a yard for a dog?"

"Yes, in fact"

"I assume you have a house then?"

"Why yes I do!"

"Therefore I assu...

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Just slept with a species from another genus.

No Homo.

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The year: 2029. A brilliant scientist is constructing the first sentient artificial intelligence.

He's working out of his garage in San Francisco, living on charitable donations from his worried friends. He dropped out of college when he realized he could change the world β€” there's no going back; his life is dedicated to this project. At first, he is met with failure upon failure. But then, he r...

The history of human evolution is confusing...

There’s so many *Homos*, it’s hard to keep them all straight.

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Choking on the Phonetic Alphabet

Last week, I was registering for a website when I ran into a little trouble and had to call their customer support. We were going through some basic form information and he was having trouble understanding my spelling so he told me to use the phonetic alphabet.

For those of you that don't kn...

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I came out to my friend as gay, who in return came out as gay

Makes all the times we fucked before then seem like he didn't mean the no homo

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What did the straight male gorilla say after he fucked a human male to death?

No homo

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Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon men were just so fit and strong and sexy.

No homo

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New fish...

It's a guy's first day in prison and he's not taking to it very well. He's off in the corner with that thousand -yard stare, hugging himself and rocking back and forth.
An old timer takes pity on him and walks over.

"How ya' doin', Kid? Having a rough time I see."

"Yeah, well- lo...

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Why did Alan Turing love matrices ending in zero?

Cause he was a homo genius.

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A kid gets onto his school bus and starts annoying the bus driver...

The little kid sits down in the front seat and starts saying
kid:"If my parents were tigers, id be a little tiger!'
kid: "If my parents were giraffes, id be a little giraffe!"

Bus Driver: "shut up, shut up"

Kid: "If my parents were dogs id be a little dog!"

finally the dri...

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As a guy, wearing Crocs is a lot like getting a blowjob from another man...

It feels great until you look down and realize you're a homo.

What species is Mike Pence?

No-homo sapiens.

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What do you call a marriage between two violins?

A homo-sectional marriage.

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I saw three sapiens bathing together with pleasure on their faces

No homo

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I was at the Natural History Museum

and I saw the Neanderthal exhibit. Those guys were buff studs.

no homo

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Warning: Bad Biology Puns

So a Homo is talking to his friend, pitching him an idea for a new musical he came up with. Upon finishing his pitch, his friend looks at him and exclaims "Wow! Its brilliant!". Homo looks at him and says, "Well, I am a genus!"

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