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So you knows how you are supposed to say "no homo" whenever you are in an intimate situation with an other guy, so it isn't gay.

Well, that's pretty difficult to do with a dick in your mouth!

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My bartender got extremely offended when I ordered a daiquiri and added "no homo"

Next time I'll just ask him to hold the fruit

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I can't stand all this homo and hetero talk lately

It's all Greek to me

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When I was in 4th grade, one of the boys in my class called me "a homo" in front of the class and I thought it meant "homeless".

And I was confused, so I said, "But Jeremy, you've been to my house!"

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A giant burly tough-as-nails biker dude barges into a bar...

A giant burly tough-as-nails biker dude barges into a bar and strolls up to the bar that already has wall to wall customers. He shoves everyone to one side and demands the bartender's attention. Everyone is immediately cowed into silence by the look of him.

"Gimme a shot of whiskey!" He barks...

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If no homo makes you no gay, what makes you gay?

J.K. Rowling

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Who are the most homo-erotic pop group at Hogwarts?

Wand Erection.

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A chimpanzee says to another "I think I prefer to walk on just two legs"

The other chimp looks at him funny in response.

The first chimp quickly adds, "No homo!"

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How do you say no homo in French?

No Oui oui

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I think gays are pretty much all smart people.

They're a homo genius group.

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What do you call it when one Neanderthal man is attracted to another Neanderthal man?

Homo Erectus.....

ill see myself out....

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Why can't homosexuals tell jokes

Cuz they can't keep a straight face


Btw I'm not trying to target homos

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I came out to my friend as gay, who in return came out as gay

Makes all the times we fucked before then seem like he didn't mean the no homo

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A man is taking a leak in a bar

When another man enters the bathroom to use the urinal next to him. While scanning through the corners of his eyes, the man notices the other one takes off a condom before urinating. He can't help his curiosity.



\- "Hey man, no homo but... is that a condom you were wearing?"

\-...

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[OC] After area 51 raid, Joe drugged and took an alien to his home. When the drug worn off, Joe saw the alien walking towards him with a massive boner and he asked Joe in perfect English with a seducing voice "Who are you, sexy thing"?

Joe replied... Sapien.. No homo

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"No homo" [nsfw]

God said as he put the male g-spot several inches up Adam's ass

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I would totally kiss a dude for some 2% milk right now

No Homo

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Most people have Homochromia, where their eyes are the same colour. I've got Heterochromia, and my eyes are different colours. So basically, God made me and said:

"You've got the most gorgeous eyes! No homo"

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It is Perfectly Natural to be Gay

I mean... we are ***Homo*** Sapiens after all

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Just slept with a species from another genus.

No Homo.

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What did the dominant allele say to the recessive allele?

No homo.

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What did they call conversion therapy back in the Stone Age?

Homo correctus

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What did Mother Earth say when she wiped out every last human being on the earth?

"No Homo"

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Heaven Rides

*Note: I heard this joke from my dad who heard it from his grandmother, so if this isn't as good as it should be sorry.

3 guy friends (no homo) die and go to heaven, where together they are asked questions by St. Peter. After passing all questions,
St. Peter asks, "so far you have done we...

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Santa wants to learn the subject Logic

he goes to his friend Banta, and says, this 'Logic' is really difficult for me to understand. Could you please help teach it to me.

Banta: well its really simple. let me give you an example. Do you have an aquarium in your house?

Santa: Yes

Banta: logically there must be fishes ...

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An H+ ion and a hydrogen atom were bonding

"No homo?" the hydrogen atom asks.
"No homo," the H+ ion says sadly.

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A student is looking for a university minor...

He finds a professor of assumption...

He asks what it is all about.

The professor asks, "Do you have a dog?"

"Yes, I do"

"So I assume you have a yard for a dog?"

"Yes, in fact"

"I assume you have a house then?"

"Why yes I do!"

"Therefore I assu...

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A Topological Loop Walks Into a Bar, and Asks the Bartender "What's the Quickest Way to get Laid?" [NSFW]

A Topological Loop walks into a bar, and asks the bartender "what's the quickest way to get laid?"

The bartender answers, "Keep this under wraps, but check the second stall in the men's restroom. There's a glory hole there, and someone is in there right now."

The loop enters the bathro...

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Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon men were just so fit and strong and sexy.

No homo

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A kid gets onto his school bus and starts annoying the bus driver...

The little kid sits down in the front seat and starts saying
kid:"If my parents were tigers, id be a little tiger!'
kid: "If my parents were giraffes, id be a little giraffe!"

Bus Driver: "shut up, shut up"

Kid: "If my parents were dogs id be a little dog!"

finally the dri...

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The year: 2029. A brilliant scientist is constructing the first sentient artificial intelligence.

He's working out of his garage in San Francisco, living on charitable donations from his worried friends. He dropped out of college when he realized he could change the world β€” there's no going back; his life is dedicated to this project. At first, he is met with failure upon failure. But then, he r...

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Choking on the Phonetic Alphabet

Last week, I was registering for a website when I ran into a little trouble and had to call their customer support. We were going through some basic form information and he was having trouble understanding my spelling so he told me to use the phonetic alphabet.

For those of you that don't kn...

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Warning: Bad Biology Puns

So a Homo is talking to his friend, pitching him an idea for a new musical he came up with. Upon finishing his pitch, his friend looks at him and exclaims "Wow! Its brilliant!". Homo looks at him and says, "Well, I am a genus!"

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New fish...

It's a guy's first day in prison and he's not taking to it very well. He's off in the corner with that thousand -yard stare, hugging himself and rocking back and forth.
An old timer takes pity on him and walks over.

"How ya' doin', Kid? Having a rough time I see."

"Yeah, well- lo...

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What do aliens say to each other when they see a city full of Homosapiens?

Damn, look at all those homos

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Aliens be like

No homo

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I was at the Natural History Museum

and I saw the Neanderthal exhibit. Those guys were buff studs.

no homo

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As a guy, wearing Crocs is a lot like getting a blowjob from another man...

It feels great until you look down and realize you're a homo.

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What did the straight male gorilla say after he fucked a human male to death?

No homo

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Why did Alan Turing love matrices ending in zero?

Cause he was a homo genius.

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