UPJOKE
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Smokey the Bear says "Only YOU can prevent wildfires!"

Half the world is burning right now.


*I hope you feel good about yourself.*

I googled "how to start a wildfire"...

I got 48,500 matches.

A California ranch that was once owned by Ronald Reagan was being threatened by a wildfire

Firefighters attempted to save it by pouring water on a nearby hill and hoping it would trickle down.

Have you heard about the problem with wildfires in Greece?

Apparently you can’t extinguish a Greece fire with water.

Smoky Bear: Only YOU can prevent wildfires!

Two guys are talking about TV commercials. One of them says, “So, I saw this commercial the other day where a bear dressed as park ranger said that only I could prevent wildfires.”

The other guy replies, “Why, that two-timing liar! The other day he told me that _I_ was the only one who coul...

Greece has been suffering from wildfires this year so horrible they can be seen from space

Not surprising considering how hard it is to get a Greece fire under control.

As Covid19 winds down, another virus is spreading like wildfire

Covid19 may be winding down, but a brand new virus, the ID10t virus, is spreading like wildfire.
Symptoms of the ID10t virus include mental and comprehension issues. Symptoms include schitzophasia, a condition where words are misunderstood. A victim may hear or read a words like "baking soda" a...

This year is all about noticing things we should’ve done differently. Should’ve done more to stop the spread of the virus, police brutality, wildfires, climate change...but you know what they say about hindsight...

It’s 2020.

My preacher started a sermon with this joke the other week that was actually pretty funny and i thought i would share it with you guys

Alright so in this small rural town there lived two brothers. All of their lives they went around doing horrible things to people that ranged from Vandalism, Stealing, Battery, etc. One day one of the brothers dies and the other brother goes to the town preacher to arrange his funeral and asks him,<...

With many truck routes blocked from Wildfire, California residents are having beef shipments airdropped to them.

The steaks have never been higher.

Why God? Why?

One day a fellow was watching Fox News and learned about a new virus that was rapidly spreading and quickly killing those who got sick with it. The nightly news reports got worse and worse, this Covid-19 virus was spreading around the world and killing increasingly large numbers of people. But he wa...

President Busb was reading a newspaper on an airplane

Former President George Bush was on an airplane and was reading the newspaper. Its headline says "A wildfire has displaced over 50 Brazilian citizens."

He turns to one of his assistants and says "Thats terrible! We should help them. How much is Brazilian?"

LeBron James tweets he's had to evacuate due to California wildfires

Hope the Chinese are taking fire evacuees.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The mosquito that brings disease...

A village elder is brought a mosquito caught from a swarm. The townsfolks fear it may bring disease. So the elder says - "I will take this mosquito, and I will determine the aspects of the disease that it may bring." The elder rips up the mosquito into pieces. He places each one into a tiny square d...

You wanna know what’s not illegal in California?

Wildfires.

Hollywood loves a remake.

Which is why God produced "California Wildfires" for the 6000th time this year.

Paddy and Micky in a bar..

Paddy is a hunchback. Micky walks with a limp. They both have too much to drink and are discussing how their wives are going to kill them for going home late.

"I know a shortcut home through the graveyard!" declares Paddy.

"No way!" says Micky, "I've heard strange stories about that gr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A village of glass houses...

There once was a village in the middle of a vast open field. The village had survived for centuries based on their tradition and culture. This consisted of specific dances and celebrations, body paint, and the most noticeable and apparent: the use of glass buildings and structures. The people who li...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bear with a dead list

The bear writes a death list. News of his death list spread across the forest like wildfire. Some of the animals who hear about it decide to go ask the bear about the list, thinking, that living in uncertainty is worse than knowing for certain that a bear is going to eat you. So, the fox goes to the...

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