What do you call an arctic rabbit

A polar hare

Global warming is a joke.

Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.

An Arctic explorer gets frostbite

And looses the toes off both feet whilst on an expedition.

After he returns home he starts having relationship problems with his wife. He can't understand it as they had been happily married for years before his injuries.

She behaves really unreasonably and won't put up with anything t...

What do you do if you come across a penguin in the arctic?

Wipe it off and apologise...

What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?

Where were you on the night of September to March?

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A special group of polar bears that live in the Arctic and Antarctic have been seen with dual personalities and sexual attraction to both sexes..

I guess you could say they’re Bi-polar bipolar bi polar bears.

Scientists are studying the effects of marijuana on the arctic tern, a species of bird.

The studies are so intense they have stated "We are leaving no tern unstoned."

I believe Donald Trump can make this country what it once was-

-an arctic region with zero population

What do you call fifty penguins in the Arctic?

Lost! REALLY lost!

Where do Arctic Monkeys store their food to keep it cool.

Indie fridge.

Who split the arctic sea?

Eskimoses

A lonely orca is swimming in the arctic

Normally he doesn't venture this far north, but he figures there's nothing wrong with a longer swim into the frigid waters.

All of sudden he spots the most beautiful girl orca he's ever seen. Too long our poor protagonist has let opportunities pass him by, but not this time. So he gathers his...

You know I've always liked the arctic

There has always been something cool about it

Have you ever been to an arctic graveyard?

It's chilling...

I met a guy with a girlfriend in the arctic and a boyfriend in Antarctica...

Bipolar

Why do Arctic bears dissolve in water?

Because they're polar.

A man goes to the Doctor and says "I can't stop listening to the Arctic Monkeys"

The doctor replies- "Snap out of it".

I've had some pain in my stomach ever since I ate those Radiohead and Arctic Monkeys CDs.

I think I've got indiegestion.

Why did the bear beat his wife, eat their children and leave for the arctic?

Because he was bipolar.

What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long?

Polaroids.

^I ^know, ^that ^was ^god ^awful.

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How do you bid farewell to a sexually open Arctic animal with a mental disorder.

"Bye bye bi bipolar polar bear!"

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Married in the arctic circle

After 30 years of unfulfilling matrimony a crotchety old Alaskan couple finally decide to seek marriage counseling.

Upon the first meeting with their therapist they both sit down awkwardly on the couch, and pull back their Anorak hoods only to realize that they've been married to the WRONG p...

Why is Donald Trump popular in the Antarctic and Arctic?

Because he's doing well in the poles.

What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic?

Knot cool

Have you heard about the place way up North where birds stop flying North and start flying south?

It's where they make Arctic Terns.

Job Opportunity for Flat Earthers

Because of the recent Arctic cold snap. Delta Airlines has been hiring de-icers in their Atlanta hub for the expected crowds at SuperBowl. Most of the jobs have been going to Flat Earthers, because by definition, they don't believe in *Global* Warming but are fine with Plane Warming.

When the zookeepers come in the morning, they find a kangaroo wandering the zoo...

They put it back in its environment, and add barbed wire to the top of the fencing to keep it from jumping out. Yet the next morning once more the kangaroo is found out and about, relaxing near the arctic exhibit.

Perplexed but not perturbed, they return it to its enclosure and call in the c...

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It is the year 2200

In a small city lived a master fisherman. This fisherman was famous throughout the world for being able to catch numerous amounts of fish in any body of water. Now, fish these days have mutated and changed quite a bit, but this fisherman was able to catch them all with little to no effort.

On...

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A hunter tells an Inuit..

I'm so good, I've killed every penguin in the arctic. "Piss off" says the Inuit, "Penguins are only found in the antarctic."
"Well, they are now" replies the hunter.

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argume...

Two jokes from little kids... That shouldn't have been from little kids.

I've never seen either of these posted, so I thought I would share. The first was told to me by my brother when he was about ten years old:

A group of white me in the early 1800's are looking to hunt buffalo in the great American West. They hire a Native American guide and set out. They pick ...

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2 whales

Two Whales, Bob & Brenda, are swimming in the cold arctic waters when Bob spies a boat. "It can't be!" exclaims Bob. "What" asks Brenda. "You see that boat in the distance, Brenda? Well that's the whaler that murdered my parents!" "Oh Bob, that's awful" replies Brenda. "Quick, Brenda, I have a p...

How To Catch a Polar Bear

First, go to the grocery store, and buy some peas. Doesn't matter if they're frozen, or canned, or whatever, just get some peas. Bring those peas to the Arctic, where the polar bears live. Then find a large-ish hole in the ice. It should be big enough to fit a couple people in. Put some peas in fron...

So a penguin and a seal are in a car...

The penguin is driving. It's 105 degrees outside, and, being from the arctic, they want to get something to cool off. The seal suggests they get ice cream, so they find a nearby ice cream parlor. They're getting out of the car and the seal says, "Hey, something's wrong with the engine!" the penguin ...

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