UPJOKE
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I tried to have a threesome with two Eskimo girls

But they just weren’t Inuit.

It's a little known fact that the inuit people always know when someone is willing to kiss.

They have a good nose for it.

Two Inuits are whale hunting

They have been out all day in their little boat. The wind starts to whip up and it's getting very cold. Their whale-skin coats aren't even cutting the chill. With each blast the cold eats at them. All of a sudden one of them jumps up and starts building a fire in the middle of the boat. He strips al...

A Canadian couple made province-shaped cookies

A baker in Canada thought it would be fun to bake cookies that were each in the shapes of Canada's provinces and territories.

"These look delicious," said her husband.

"Thanks!" she said. "And don't worry, I've made some of each shape so you're able to eat them."

"What do you me...

When I disagree on a food, just call me an Inuit

Because I'm having Nunavut

I tried whale meat.

But I'm just not that Inuit.

What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?

"I've got Nunavut."

A lighthouse was installed at an Alaskan cape near a remote Inuit village

The leader of the village opposed the installation, but the US government overruled him.

One foggy morning, the village leader said to his people, "I told you that thing no good. Look at it: light flash, bell ring, horn go woo-woo. But fog come in, just like always."

I tried tricking an Inuit guy last night...

...but he was having Nunavut

Eskimo lottery

You’ve got to be Inuit to win it

Had a date with an Inuit girl, she showed up late...

She said she blew a seal in her car. I don't think I'll see her again, bestiality is wrong..

Historically, the Inuit are one of the few groups of people who never lose their temper. After decades of research, scientists were able to figure out why...

They’re nomads.

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak...

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak. They've been out all day, and the sun's setting. As the temperature drops, they decide to light a campfire on the watercraft, which, unsurprisingly sinks. This just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

An Inuit man walks into a pet store...

An Inuit man walks into a pet store holding a dead, bloodied seal, he screams at the owner "SOMEONE HAS CLUBBED MY SEAL, I DEMAND A REFUND!" The owner looks at him and says, "Sorry, warranty void if seal is broken."

Thanks to global warming, Inuit women are being forced to wear less and less clothing.

*No ice.*

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A hunter tells an Inuit..

I'm so good, I've killed every penguin in the arctic. "Piss off" says the Inuit, "Penguins are only found in the antarctic."
"Well, they are now" replies the hunter.

I met this cute Inuit girl but I didn't know what to say, so I just said something funny.

It was an icebreaker joke.

How do Inuits know where to find fish under the ice?

They use their *Inuit*-uition!

Parents: "We don't know how else to tell you. You're adopted. Your actual parents are from Alaska."

Kid: "Inuit all along!"

How did the Eskimo get into his igloo?

He just walked right Inuit

What did the Cherokee say when the Aztec turned out to be lying?

Inuit.

Two men walk into a bar in Alaska.

Two men walk into a bar in Alaska whereupon entering they see a beautiful woman dressed in furs, with tan skin and black hair sitting by herself. They remark to one another about how beautiful she is when one of the men decide to go and talk to her. After a moment or two, who solemnly returns to his...

My Alaskan Girlfriend broke up with me the other day...

I kept telling people she was an Eskimo, but I guess she wasn’t Inuit.

What did the Eskimo man say when he caught his wife cheating with the neighbor?

Inuit!

The real name by which eskimos name themselfs?

I forgot but I swear Inuit earlier.

What part of Canada do the Inuit control?

Nunavut.

I thought I was going to sleep with an Eskimo-girl

But, she wasn’t Inuit.

When I was a young man, I almost hooked up with an Eskimo girl once...

Turns out, she wasn’t really Inuit

Have you seen how excited Alaskans get about their hobbies?

They get very Inuit.

I asked a group of people how they felt about the word "Eskimo".

None of them were Inuit.

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Did you hear about the explorer who tried to have sex with an Eskimo but couldn't get it up?

He just wasn't Inuit.

Did you know that native Alaskans don’t like to be called Eskimos?

Inuit.

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How do you know an Alaskan girl is enjoying sex?

She's really Inuit.

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I have a fetish for indigenous girls. Wanted to have sex with this girl in Alaska, but, unfortunately...

... She wasn't inuit.

I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.

He said nah, I’m not really Inuit.

I can't eat whale blubber.

I've tried it, I'm just not Inuit.

-my beloved nerd of a husband

I tried to take a girl out to hunt seals for a first date.

But she wasn't really Inuit.

A detective and his partner were tracking a thief--their two suspects were an Eskimo and a Canadian.

The detective had told his partner he knew it was the Eskimo, but he didn't have any hard evidence to support his theory.

Finally, at a stakeout, they caught the criminal in the act--and sure enough, as they emerged from the shadows, the perpetrator was the Eskimo. Vindicated, the detective...

There's a new cosmetic surgery that makes you look like an Eskimo.

You might wanna look Inuit.

Why did the Eskimo quit the soccer team?

Idk I guess he just wasn't inuit

I'm totally into polar bears.

Some people call me crazy.

I'm completely Inuit.

So there's this big game hunter...

He was getting up there in age, so he decided he was going to go on one last trophy hunt for something he didn't have, a polar bear.

This hunter traveled up north and is talking to an inuit tribe. He says he wants to go after the largest part bear they've seen.

One man says, "Six feet ...

I wanted to be First Nation

But I just wasn’t Inuit

Snow job

So an Eskimo ( Inuit if you live in Can ) took his broken snowmobile into the garage for some repairs. The mechanic checked it out then looked up at the fellow and said. "I think you blew a seal." The Eskimo quickly wiped his face. " No, no that's just frost!" he replied.

I went on a date with a woman from Alaska...

Things were going pretty well, and we sincerely enjoyed each others company. Then at the end of the night, I tried to give her an Eskimo kiss, but I guess she wasn't really Inuit.

I used to date a native Alaskan...

... but she didn't really seem to be that Inuit.

Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn’t

She said she’s just not that Inuit.

'Hey, you wanna be Eskimo Brothers?'

''Na, I'm really not Inuit.'

A thousand baby seals walk into a club.

The Inuit are happy with a good season this year.

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I thought I was gonna have sex with an Eskimo one time...

But it turns out she wasn't Inuit.

I said Canada was made up of ten provinces and two territories

But the Inuits were having Nunavut.

So I paid good money for an Eskimo escort, but I think I got ripped off...

I could tell she wasn't Inuit.

So I came home from work, and my roommate had cooked dinner for us. She made whale blubber. She was like "I hope you like whale blubber!" I told her "Well I mean that just sounds terrible!"

She said "You never know, you might be Inuit."

Credit to my roommate for this one

My dad keeps trying to teach us...

My dad keeps trying to teach us about our partially Eskimo heritage, but I don't care.
I'm just not Inuit.

What did the Eskimo say about the interface on his new iphone?

It was counter-inuitive.

What did the Alaska Native's girlfriend say when she broke up with him?

*"I'm just not that Inuit."*

Did you hear about the Alaska native that didn't like fish?

Yeah, he just wasn't inuit.

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Married in the arctic circle

After 30 years of unfulfilling matrimony a crotchety old Alaskan couple finally decide to seek marriage counseling.

Upon the first meeting with their therapist they both sit down awkwardly on the couch, and pull back their Anorak hoods only to realize that they've been married to the WRONG p...

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You hear the one about the sexually adventurous Eskimo?

You name it, he was Inuit!

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