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Inuit Jokes

Inuit and American tourist walks near far-north village.

Suddenly the polar bear starts chasing them. American starts crying, Inuit starts to warm up and takes running position.
American - What are you doing? Don't you know, that polar bear runs faster than any human? We can not outrun polar bear!
Inuit - I don't need to outrun the polar bear, I ne...

It's a little known fact that the inuit people always know when someone is willing to kiss.

They have a good nose for it.

When I disagree on a food, just call me an Inuit

Because I'm having Nunavut

A Canadian and an Inuit representative were arguing over land rights...

The Canadian representative insisted on having all of northern Canada to themselves, but the Inuit representative immediately cut them off, saying they were having Nunavut.

No one else in the class knew what the people of Greenland are called.

But Inuit

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An anthropologist decides to study a particular Inuit tribe.

So he arranges to spend five years living among them. After about a year he hears talk of a secret society, but when he asks to join he's told no. Wanting to be thorough he persists, and eventually the tribal chief gives in. He tells the anthropologist "I have decided to allow you to join our societ...

An Inuit man walks into a pet store...

An Inuit man walks into a pet store holding a dead, bloodied seal, he screams at the owner "SOMEONE HAS CLUBBED MY SEAL, I DEMAND A REFUND!" The owner looks at him and says, "Sorry, warranty void if seal is broken."

I tried tricking an Inuit guy last night...

...but he was having Nunavut

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A hunter tells an Inuit..

I'm so good, I've killed every penguin in the arctic. "Piss off" says the Inuit, "Penguins are only found in the antarctic."
"Well, they are now" replies the hunter.

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak...

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak. They've been out all day, and the sun's setting. As the temperature drops, they decide to light a campfire on the watercraft, which, unsurprisingly sinks. This just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?

"I've got Nunavut."

A lighthouse was installed at an Alaskan cape near a remote Inuit village

The leader of the village opposed the installation, but the US government overruled him.

One foggy morning, the village leader said to his people, "I told you that thing no good. Look at it: light flash, bell ring, horn go woo-woo. But fog come in, just like always."

Had a date with an Inuit girl, she showed up late...

She said she blew a seal in her car. I don't think I'll see her again, bestiality is wrong..

How do Inuits know where to find fish under the ice?

They use their *Inuit*-uition!

Two Inuits are whale hunting

They have been out all day in their little boat. The wind starts to whip up and it's getting very cold. Their whale-skin coats aren't even cutting the chill. With each blast the cold eats at them. All of a sudden one of them jumps up and starts building a fire in the middle of the boat. He strips al...

Thanks to global warming, Inuit women are being forced to wear less and less clothing.

*No ice.*

I tried to have a threesome with two Eskimo girls

But they just weren’t Inuit.

My girlfriend doesn't typically like kissing, so instead I tried rubbing my nose on hers...

...And I think she Inuit

How do eskimos get into their igloos?

They just walk right inuit.

I met this cute Inuit girl but I didn't know what to say, so I just said something funny.

It was an icebreaker joke.

What did the suspicious husband say after he caught his wife cheating inside an igloo?

Inuit!

An old Inuit man approached me in a bar and asked if I knew how to catch a polar bear.

First, he continued on, you must trek out onto the ice where the bears frequent. Take your ulu and create a hole in the ice, the rounder the better. Take a bag of peas and set 7 around the hole at even intervals.

Then sit back and wait.

Once a polar bear comes around to take a pea kick...

How do eskimos always know where to find the best Seals?

They use their inuition

I tried whale meat.

But I'm just not that Inuit.

Did you know that eskimos have their own lottery?

You have to be Inuit to win you it.

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How does an eskimo have sex?

He goes inuit, outuit, inuit, outuit.

Parents: "We don't know how else to tell you. You're adopted. Your actual parents are from Alaska."

Kid: "Inuit all along!"

What did the Cherokee say when the Aztec turned out to be lying?

Inuit.

A Canadian couple made province-shaped cookies

A baker in Canada thought it would be fun to bake cookies that were each in the shapes of Canada's provinces and territories.

"These look delicious," said her husband.

"Thanks!" she said. "And don't worry, I've made some of each shape so you're able to eat them."

"What do you me...

What part of Canada do the Inuit control?

Nunavut.

I asked a group of people how they felt about the word "Eskimo".

None of them were Inuit.

Have you seen how excited Alaskans get about their hobbies?

They get very Inuit.

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I have a fetish for indigenous girls. Wanted to have sex with this girl in Alaska, but, unfortunately...

... She wasn't inuit.

My Alaskan Girlfriend broke up with me the other day...

I kept telling people she was an Eskimo, but I guess she wasn’t Inuit.

Did you know that native Alaskans don’t like to be called Eskimos?

Inuit.

The real name by which eskimos name themselfs?

I forgot but I swear Inuit earlier.

I thought I was going to sleep with an Eskimo-girl

But, she wasn’t Inuit.

My ex girlfriend was really into Eskimo kisses

But I just wasn’t very Inuit

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How do you know an Alaskan girl is enjoying sex?

She's really Inuit.

I tried to take a girl out to hunt seals for a first date.

But she wasn't really Inuit.

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Did you hear about the explorer who tried to have sex with an Eskimo but couldn't get it up?

He just wasn't Inuit.

There's a new cosmetic surgery that makes you look like an Eskimo.

You might wanna look Inuit.

I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.

He said nah, I’m not really Inuit.

Jokes about Eskimos are just cold...

I'm not really Inuit.

I can't eat whale blubber.

I've tried it, I'm just not Inuit.

-my beloved nerd of a husband

I wanted to be First Nation

But I just wasn’t Inuit

I'm totally into polar bears.

Some people call me crazy.

I'm completely Inuit.

A thousand baby seals walk into a club.

The Inuit are happy with a good season this year.

'Hey, you wanna be Eskimo Brothers?'

''Na, I'm really not Inuit.'

I used to date a native Alaskan...

... but she didn't really seem to be that Inuit.

Met a native Alaskan girl the other day. I asked her if all that stuff you see on the nature shows about Alaska is true How they hunt seals and eat whale blubber. She said yeah some ppl do that stuff. I asked her why she didn’t

She said she’s just not that Inuit.

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I thought I was gonna have sex with an Eskimo one time...

But it turns out she wasn't Inuit.

I said Canada was made up of ten provinces and two territories

But the Inuits were having Nunavut.

So I came home from work, and my roommate had cooked dinner for us. She made whale blubber. She was like "I hope you like whale blubber!" I told her "Well I mean that just sounds terrible!"

She said "You never know, you might be Inuit."

Credit to my roommate for this one

I just tried to play the online Eskimo lottery.

But you have to be Inuit to win it.

Snow job

So an Eskimo ( Inuit if you live in Can ) took his broken snowmobile into the garage for some repairs. The mechanic checked it out then looked up at the fellow and said. "I think you blew a seal." The Eskimo quickly wiped his face. " No, no that's just frost!" he replied.

So I paid good money for an Eskimo escort, but I think I got ripped off...

I could tell she wasn't Inuit.

A detective and his partner were tracking a thief--their two suspects were an Eskimo and a Canadian.

The detective had told his partner he knew it was the Eskimo, but he didn't have any hard evidence to support his theory.

Finally, at a stakeout, they caught the criminal in the act--and sure enough, as they emerged from the shadows, the perpetrator was the Eskimo. Vindicated, the detective...

I went on a date with a woman from Alaska...

Things were going pretty well, and we sincerely enjoyed each others company. Then at the end of the night, I tried to give her an Eskimo kiss, but I guess she wasn't really Inuit.

My dad keeps trying to teach us...

My dad keeps trying to teach us about our partially Eskimo heritage, but I don't care.
I'm just not Inuit.

What did the Alaska Native's girlfriend say when she broke up with him?

*"I'm just not that Inuit."*

What did the Eskimo say about the interface on his new iphone?

It was counter-inuitive.

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You hear the one about the sexually adventurous Eskimo?

You name it, he was Inuit!

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Married in the arctic circle

After 30 years of unfulfilling matrimony a crotchety old Alaskan couple finally decide to seek marriage counseling.

Upon the first meeting with their therapist they both sit down awkwardly on the couch, and pull back their Anorak hoods only to realize that they've been married to the WRONG p...

Did you hear about the Alaska native that didn't like fish?

Yeah, he just wasn't inuit.

So there's this big game hunter...

He was getting up there in age, so he decided he was going to go on one last trophy hunt for something he didn't have, a polar bear.

This hunter traveled up north and is talking to an inuit tribe. He says he wants to go after the largest part bear they've seen.

One man says, "Six feet ...

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