Alzheimer's Disease Jokes

Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

My doctor says I'm not at risk for Alzheimer's disease, so that's good.

2 days later he gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!

Doctor: I'd recommend taking h... read more

Wanna hear a joke about my alzheimer's disease?

She says she doesn't remember what she ever saw in me

The patient says, "Well at least I don't have Cancer."

You get to meet so many new people.

He bought one today, too.

1. You can make new friends every day.
2. You can laugh at all the old jokes.
3. You can make new friends every day.

The lab tech says to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible."... read more

But on the bright side, at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease.

If you forget to zip up your pants after going to the bathroom - that's just being forgetful. If you forget to unzip before going to the bathroom - that's Alzheimer's.

I really feel torn about making jokes about this terrible disease, but that's one way of dealing with it.

I'd rather die than having Alzheimer's disease.

A doctor runs a test on an elderly lady in the hospital and comes in to her room to read her the results.
"I have some bad news, and some more bad news. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer's disease"
The woman says "Well at least I don't have cancer."

Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly, fearing it was a sign of Alzheimer's disease I asked him what he was holding in his hand. He snapped back "Of course I know it's a spoon, but who is that old guy in the reflection? "

The patient says "Give me the really bad news first."

The doc responds, "Unfortunately, you have stage 4 cancer, and you'll be dead within a month."

The patient shakes his head, trying to take it all in. "Ok..." he says, "what's the bad news?"

"The bad news," the doctor continu... read more

Doc: I have bad news, and I have worse news.

Guy: Wow. Ok, well let's start with the worse news.

Doc: You have cancer and only have about 3 months to live.

Guy (shaken): Ok, what's the bad news?

Doc: You have Alzheimer's Disease.

Guy (waits a beat): Well at least ... read more

... a few weeks later, they were asked to go back for the results, so the husband goes in on his way home from work.

"You are in perfect health, sir. However, your wife has a problem, but we're not sure what." the nurse tells the husband, "It's either a bad problem, or a terrible problem - sh... read more

He is getting the results of some tests he had so e last week. The nurse shows him to the exam room. "Sit on the table, and the doctor will be in.". He sits down and she leaves. A few minutes go by and the doctor comes in. The doctor is looking at the man's file. He tells the man, "I have have b... read more

"Well Dale, your results are in... I have some bad news and some really bad news."

"Just hit me with the worst first Doc. What's the really bad news? Get it out of the way."

The doctor takes a deep breath and prepares to tell Dale the news.

"Ok... Dale you do have lung cancer. T... read more

God meets alcoholic and tells him that he has been doing a lot of wrong things so has to suffer. He tells him he can choose one out of two diseases.

* Parkinson's disease (hand will shake continuously)
* Alzheimer's disease (memory loss)

After thinking for some, he replied that he ... read more

Doctor: I'm afraid to tell you that you have Alzheimer's disease.
Old lady: What? No way! I played poker, did math problems, and everything to prevent this...
Doctor: It's OK ma'am. Just keep doing what you're doing to prevent your condition from worsening.
Old lady: Sure.
Doctor... read more