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Alzheimers Jokes

My wife said to me "If I ever get Alzheimers I would commit suicide rather than burdening you with me"

I said "Thats the fifth time you've said that today"

What is worst - Alzheimers or Parkinsons?

Alzheimers. Because its better to spill your beer than forget where you put it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aids or Alzheimer's

A man takes his wife to the doctor. The doctor says "Well, its either aids or alzheimers."

"What do you mean?" the guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"

"Well, the two look a lot alike in the early stages." said the doctor, "Tell you what, drive her way out into the country. Once ...

I think my wife’s showing symptoms of Alzheimers.

She’s telling me everyday that she can’t remember what she saw in me that made her marry me.

What’s the difference between alzheimers and dementia?

What’s the difference between alzheimers and dementia?

Would you like to hear an alzheimers joke?

Would you like to hear an alzheimers joke?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor, I came to pick up my wife’s results…

- Well… I had a little problem with the results. I accidentally scrambled them with another patient, we don’t know if she has aids or alzheimers.

+ What should I do now?

- Leave her in the middle of the forest, if she comes back, don’t fuck her.

I googled alzheimers symptoms...

And it had already been searched before.

"A man with alzheimers tries to recall a joke-"

Wait, that's not how it starts

"A forgetful man tries to retell a story-"

No, no, that not it either

"A man-"

Aww, forget it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Getting older is rough. This month I only had enough money to get either my Viagra or my Alzheimers medication.

I can't recall which one I chose...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aids or Alzheimers

A woman noticed her husband wasn't quite the same as he used to be. So she takes him to the doctor. The doctor does a bunch of tests. He calls the woman into the office. He says, "Well, I've narrowed it down to two things. It's either Aids or Alzheimers." The woman says, "Oh, My God!!!! What am I go...

"What do we want!?" "A cure for Alzheimers!!"

"What did we want?"

What did the vegan with Alzheimers eat?

Word salad.

Doctor: I'm afraid you have cancer and alzheimers.

Patient: Hey, at least I don't have cancer!

Alzheimers, its a bad thing...

...but atleast you get to meet new people everyday.

Alzheimer's Test

How fast can you guess these words?
1. F_ _K
2. PU_S_
3. S_X
4. P_N_S
5. BOO_S
6. _ _NDOM


Answers:

1. FORK
2. PULSE
3. SIX
4. PANTS
5. BOOKS
6. RANDOM

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

Well, you don't have alzheimers, but y...

I just heard that Tony Bennett has Alzheimers.

He left his heart in San Diego.

I asked a patient who has alzheimers,”for how long have you had alzheimers “. He replied-

“As long as I can remember “

As someone with Alzheimers i will prove to you we can tell funny jokes.

As someone with Alzheimers i will prove to you we can tell funny jokes.

The first rule of Alzheimers club,

Is don't talk about chess club

The great thing about the Alzheimers museum is...

No matter how many times you go, it always seems new.

THIS CORONA QUARANTINE HAS GIVEN MY WIFE ALZHEIMERS!!

She doesn't remember what she ever saw in me.

My uncle has diabetes and alzheimers

I asked him where his feet were and he was stumped.

It's Alzheimers day on thursday...

It's Alzheimers day on thursday...

Did you hear that one about Alzheimers?

Damn, I can't remember the punch line.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a man with Alzheimers do in his free time?

Upvote the same fucking joke for the 5th time on r/jokes .

Alzheimers..

This old guy and old lady are sitting in a nursing home when the guy turns to the woman and says "I bet you can't guess how old I am". The lady says "I'll bet I can, unzip your pants", so he does, she sticks her hand in, feels around, pulls her hand out and says "you're 83". The guy says "WOW! Th...

Man with Alzheimers tries to sell family a coffin

Man asks the son first : "I can tell you're a man of a refined taste. I'll sell you a coffin for 20% less".

Son anwsers : "I'm in mid 20's,i don't need it"

(Man realizes his mistake in asking the youngest, he changes strategies and asks about the oldest person in the family)

Man...

What does a person with Alzheimers and an orphan have in common?

They both don’t know their parents

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