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Altoid Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call putting an Altoid in her butt?

Her-ass-mint

I ate a rainbow-colored Altoid

It was bi-curiously strong.

What does Altoid mean?

I've always wondered what that word mint

To my 9 yr old: wow, Altoids were made in the 1700’s.

Her: yeah, I know, they’re all dusty

What do you call research involving Eggs, Strawberries and Altoids?

An Eggs-Berry-Mint

Did you know if you leave a group you’re singing with and then come back, they have to give you an Altoid?

It’s a re-choir mint

Altoids has begun marketing to the LGBT community.

Their new mints are bi-curiously strong.

I could have sworn I saw fig flavored altoids the other day..

must have been a figment of my imagination.

Two men are lost in the desert

Two men are lost in the desert. They are both severely dehydrated and extremely hungry. While stumbling over a particularly large sand dune, one man spots a tin of fig-flavored altoids.
Desperate for any sustenance, he stumbles ahead and grabs the tin, but realizes it was only a mirage.

He...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.

This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.

The Altoids Corporation teamed up with the makers of Tic-Tacs and Listerene Breath Strips and made this virus in a lab in Wu-Tang so that all the rest of us would be forced to smell our own stank-ass breath and buy millions of dollars worth of mints.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pharmaceutical company began clinical trials for a new sedative.

The goal was to develop a non-prescription drug that provided perfectly smooth, calming relaxation with just one pill. On the first day of trials, the lab assistant realized they had forgotten to pick up the sugar pills that were needed for the placebo. The lead researcher was furious! Most stores i...

This is a Mitch Hedberg inspired joke

So I was moving a refrigerator and I needed some extra strength. Instead of grabbing some Tylenol, I snagged a couple of Altoids instead. Cause I'll admit, I was curious...

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