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Best Little Convent in Texas (email forward from 2007)

A man was driving down a deserted stretch of Texas highway when out of the corner of his eye he notices a sign. It reads:


     SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS


     HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION


                   10 MILES


     He thinks it was just a figment of his...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

doping olympics [translated from an old Russian anecdote, 2007]

Good day! We are reporting live from our special Olympics. At our Olympics there's no doping control at all. Yes, you heard it right, sportsmen are NOT tested for doping. Absolutely. So...


- Finnish sportsman has jumped 27 meters. A very good result indeed for a chess player.

- 13 ...

In 2007, a young girl Zimbabwean girl asked her parents for Z$20.00.

Her mom responded "Z$30.00? What do you need Z$50.00 for?"

A man had just won big on lottery. Asked about what he'd do with the money, his immediate answer was to fix everything broken on his 2007 Chevrolet Malibu ...

"What about the rest of the money?" He was asked again.

"Well, I hope the bank can lend it to me."

A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions.

It might be an outdated study though.

TIL There are actually 5 movies in the Highlander movie series, the latest of which was made in 2007. But nobody talks about the 4 sequels because

There can only be one.

Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?

Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.

You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Roc...

My cat just passed...

RIP Fluffy McMittens

2002-2003 2003-2005 2005-2007 2007-2008 2008-2011 2011-2013 2013-2014 2014-2015 2015-2017

The Perfect Husband.

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello?”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes.”
...

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN...

The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure...

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

...

Number 7

Mark dreams number 7.

He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07.

He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.

Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77.

Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.

The horse comes seventh.

A winery is looking for a taster and so the vintner puts an ad out in the paper.

The next day, a man arrives at the office. He has greasy hair and a five o'clock shadow, he's wearing a filthy jacket and torn jeans, he obviously hasn't had a shower since Christ was crucified, and he smells strongly of stale tobacco smoke and cheap beer. The vintner sees the man's obviously a ho...

A man is planning his vacation,

As he does so, a friend swings by and offers to help:
-Hey man, may I suggest the Maldives? Had an amazing time there.
-I'm not taking any advice from you! Back in 98, you suggested Rome, I went there and my wife got pregnant, in 2007 you suggested Brazil, I went there and my wife got pregnant...

Tell me

"Tell me when you've come," I panted to my wife as I pumped away.


"2007 and twice in 2013." she said.

Hope this all gets to you in time, using Internet Explorer!

Happy New Year 2007!

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir.

[Groan worthy penguin jokes](https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

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