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What’s the difference between how daredevils and porn actresses become famous?

Daredevils get famous because of their cunning stunts.

(I thought that one up myself)

I know a film director that only hires overweight actors and actresses, even if they're terrible.

I think it's flabbercasting.

Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth walk into a restaurant...

They're waiting to be seated, when they spot Sandra Bullock and George Clooney sitting at a table nearby.

Suddenly and without warning they run over to the pair's table and start screaming and shouting:

"No!"
"You cannot, and shall not!"
"We will not let you! Ever!"

Securi...

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What do porn actresses say to each other when they see a hot new hunk on set?

Get a load of that guy!

You know how all these actresses are pulling out of Georgia over the abortion thing...





don't they know that isn't effective birth control?

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NSFW Porn actors/actresses aren’t just good at sex.

They’re fucking professionals!

Actresses and actors who lose an Oscar all get the opportunity to act together.

Happy for the person who won.

How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub

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A guy dies and suddenly finds himself in Hell...

He trepidatiously follows the crowd towards the Gates of Hell. He finds a demon holding a piece of cardboard with his name on it.

"Craig?," asks the demon as the man approaches.

"Y... yes," answers Craig, unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Hi. I'm Ed. I know what you're thi...

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Three men are dying...

Three old men are on their deathbeds. The first says "I've lived a good life. I've supported my family, I've donated to charity, I've lived a good life. But my greatest disappointment is never having sex with an absolutely beautiful woman."

The second man says "I'm a very rich man. I have sev...

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The best part of having a 75" TV is watching porn.

Now all the actresses look as wide as my wife.

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