Accountants Jokes

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are you going to travel with only one ticket?" asks an accountant.

"Watch and... read more

Flamingos. They're real good at balancing.

Especially when they’re self depreciating.

(OC by me)

Because they always come up short!

One day two accountants, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. One was a vegetarian and constantly berated the other for eating meat! After stopping for a hot dog, the vegetarian erupted "Why do you eat meat?, do you even know what's in that hot dog? You know, you are what yo... read more

They don't have the charisma to be an undertaker.

The GAAP.

The first one goes in for his interview. They go over his history and experience, tell him about the company, and all the usual things. Then they ask him to take a test. They bring him to a closed room and he sits at the only table, in the only chair.

When he looks at the test, he sees only ... read more

They have to work it out with a pencil.

“Sweetie, tell me about your job.”

They consider double entry the standard.

The accountants each buy themselves a ticket, then the engineers buy one. After turning to walk away, the accountants ask the other two engineers why they didn't get one. They say they don't need em to get there. "But how will you all ride the train?" Anyway, they all board the train and the three a... read more

They’re great with figures.

Because they always round up.

A Boring 747!

Cause they're skilled at double entry

One. They don't have a sense of humour.

It's gross.

Their job requires that they point out any shrinkage.

Three lawyers and three accountants stood in line to buy tickets for a train ride to the city. The three accountants bought only one ticket between them, while the three lawyers bought one ticket each.

After the men got on the train, one of the lawyers asked one of the accountants, “Why did y... read more

So, in order to overcome the discrepancy, they often created a bogus account titled "Taste" to store the unbalanced amount and allow the books to balance.

Unfortunately, the government soon heard of this practice and declared a new law... there would, from this point on, be no accounting for ... read more

Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.

While this is going on accountant number one jam... read more

Because they always double Czech their work!

They needed a system of Czechs and balances.

While talking to each other, the engineers reveal that they only bought one ticket.
"That will never work!" The accountants explain.
"Watch." reply the engineers.
So right before the ticket-master comes by, both engineers go into one of the restrooms. When the ticket-master knocks on the do... read more

They're book-keepers.

Three engineers and three accountants are in the queue to buy a train ticket.

The three accountants buy a ticket each; three in all. The engineers, however, buy one ticket between them.

“How are you…?” ask the accountants.
“We know what to do,” reply the engineers.

And all si... read more