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Abby Jokes

Abby's roommate had a blind date.

"How did it go?" Abby asked her.

"Terrible!"she answered. "He showed up in a 1950 Rolls Royce."

"Wow!" remarked Abby. "That's a very expensive car. He must be very rich. What's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Abby

My name is Gloria Mae and I'm from Tennessee. I'm 14 years old and am still a virgin.

Is my brother gay?

Dear Abby...

I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.
I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs … phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names, she a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Abby went to christian school...

But she was always sleeping because it was so boring. One day, the teacher called on her.

"Abby, what do we call Him?"

Abby didn't stir. However, Little Jimmy came to the rescue and poked her in the back with a pencil

Abby cried out, "GOD ALMIGHTY"

"Very good Abby" the te...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Letter to an Advice column:

Dear Abby, last time I wrote to you you told me there was nothing wrong with masturbation.

Why then, yesterday, did I get thrown off the bus?

Dear Abby, my wife is always telling me I don't try to solve my problems on my own.

How can I prove her wrong?

Knock-knock

- Who’s there?
- Abby.
- Abby who?
- Abby new year!

I met a chicken who was a fan of The Beatles today

He told me his number one thing on his bucket list was to meet someone named Abby.

When I asked him why, he said "I've always wanted to cross that road"

It was a dark time on the street.

War had come to Sesame Street. Big Bird lay bleeding with a piece of shrapnel sticking out of his side. As he lay there. Oscar the grouch came over to speak with him.
Oscar: How are you doing general bird?
Big Bird: Never mind that now commander what is the letter and number of the day?
Osc...

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