You may lose your phone and wallet…

…but Alicia Keys still there.

So there were a lot of celebrities at the DNC including Alicia Keys and Katy Perry. Hillary was excited because they are on her iPod.

Bill was excited because they were on his to-do list.

Did you hear about who went to DMX’s funeral?

There was Brenda, LaTisha (uh), Linda, Felicia (okay)
Dawn, LeShaun, Ines, and Alicia (ooh)
Theresa, Monica, Sharron, Nicki (uh-huh)
Lisa, Veronica, Karen, Vicky (damn)
Cookie, well I met her in a ice cream parlor (aight?)
Tonya, Dianne, Lori and Carla (okay)
Marina (uh) Selena (uh...

What do Alicia Keys, Katniss Everdeen, and Joan of Arc all have in common?

They're all girls on fire.

My first attempt at a dad joke

You loose ya phone and ya wallet but Alicia keys still there

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A squad of spermatozoids is swimming.

Their leader is foul-mouthed, but inspirational.

"Keep moving! That fucker can't be far!"

"This is what we trained for! Alicia knew we can't make it all. 'Bitch is dead, now move!"

"We'll take time to pray for the dead once we secure the fucking objective!"

After many hou...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.