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Apostrophe Jokes

Never combine a cat with an apostrophe.

It’ll be a catastrophe.

It makes me sick when people forget to add an apostrophe. I swear if it happens again...

I'll be ill

Why do demons love apostrophes?

They show possession.

A young punctuation couple, Mr. Apostrophe and Mrs. Comma…

A young punctuation couple, Mr. Apostrophe and Mrs. Comma, wanted to have a child, but sadly, could not. So, they decided to adopt a little Period and named him Edward. They loved Edward very much and he grew to be a fine young punctuation mark. However, Edward knew he was different, as he didn't...

Why do sperm cells look like commas and apostrophes?

They often interrupt periods and lead to contractions.

I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I..

...also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother Jacks off to a hot date tonight

Fuck I forgot the apostrophe

What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes?

They would be more possessive and have more frequent contractions!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a question. Is it for fuck's sake, or for fuck sake?

Like, should I put an apostrophe to show possessive? I guess the question would be, is it for the sake of all fucks, or just this fuck in particular?

Idk, so let me know because I'm at work trying to send an email, and I wanted to sound professional.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apostrophes are like sex ed

If you're not sure, don't put it in

Common English Mistakes

Common English Mistakes

-mixing up there, their, and they're

-using the wrong too, to, or two

-putting commas in the wrong place

-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches

-using apostrophes for plurals

Ladies: They say you shouldn’t date apostrophes - but I disagree.

Sure, they can be possessive but they’re the only one ever findin’ that g-spot.

What do apostrophes and demonic behavior have in common?

They're both signs of possession.

I’ve been sleeping with this other guy’s wife, he found out and sent me a text the other day that said, “You go near my wife again and ill kill you. Mark my words!”

I replied, “8 out of 10. I’ll needs an apostrophe and a capital ‘I'”.

So my son came home drunk at 2am.

I said, "excuse me, but you are out past curfew and I distinctly smell beer on your breath." "No dad, I'm sorry I'm home late but I wasn't drinking. My buddies and I were eating froglegs." So I looked at him and said, "I have been around for a while I know what beer smells like." He started to panic...

Two old ladies on a park bench...

A man in a trench coat approaches them and flashes them. The first old lady has a stroke. The second old lady can't quite reach.

What happens when you don't pay the exorcist...

You get repossessed.

Nope not mine. May be a repost. If so upvotes to that person.

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