The anti-phonetic alphabet

I've been making a list for months of words that can be used to deliberately confuse people over the phone when phonetically reading out letters. Some letters like L are tough so I just added funny words to say.

A - aisle

B - bdellium

C - czar

D - Djibouti, Django, djemb...

Phonetical jokes

A lady comes to the dry cleaners with a shirt to be cleaned.

When she tells the worker what she needs, he says: ''Come again?''

She responds: ''No, It's mayonnaise today.''

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Choking on the Phonetic Alphabet

Last week, I was registering for a website when I ran into a little trouble and had to call their customer support. We were going through some basic form information and he was having trouble understanding my spelling so he told me to use the phonetic alphabet.

For those of you that don't kn...

You eat what (phonetic joke)?

Knock knock

Who's there?

I eat mop

I eat mop who?

What's your favourite alphabet?

I don't know but phonetic is sound

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy was doing maths homework, saying to himself... 2+5, the son of bitch is 7

3+6, the son of bitch is 9

His mother heard this & asked, "What r u doing?"
Boy: "Doing my maths homework"

Mom: "Is this how your teacher taught you?"

Boy: "Yes"

Infuriated mother called the teacher:
Are you teaching maths to children by saying... 2+2, the son...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Italian Grandfather's Trip to Italy

Let me tell you a story about my Italian grandfather and a trip he took to visit his hometown in Malta. It's easier to understand if you remember he has a thick Italian accent, which I'll try to type phonetically.

"So one-a day I'm-a decide I go back to visit my hometown-a Malta. I get on de ...

What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common?

They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.)

***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version.

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