My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday. He said; maybe they’ll marry each other.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because he wasn't born yesterday
I am smarter than George Jetson
Because unlike him, I wasn't born yesterday
teacher :- hey how are you ? student:- not good ! teacher :- what's wrong
Student :- my sister is at hospital she can't even speak or walk i think she is paralyzed teacher :- omg ! I am sorry to hear !what happened? student :- she was born yesterday
Man, I hate it when the date picker for my birthday on a website starts with the current date.
Do they think that I was born yesterday?
Why are miscarried children very smart?
Because they weren't born yesterday.
I tried to steal candy from a baby.
He slapped my hand away. Turns out he wasn't born yesterday.
A joke for my granddaughter
My daughter had a baby girl yesterday and we live 1000 miles apart. I texted my daughter a first joke for the baby.
Me: Hey baby. Do you know why the chicken crossed the road?
Baby: Of course I know the answer to that old joke, Granny. Do you think I was born yesterday?
OC (i think) St peter says "you have to answer a question before I can let you in"...
...”But you were an aborted fetus, so you really don't know anything.”
The fetus responds "it's okay, you shouldn't treat me any differently. Besides it's not like I was born yesterday"
100% True Story - Funniest Thing That Ever Happened to Me
Not long after my younger son was born I left the Army and, not having a new job to go to and my wife having a great job, I looked after the house and my two boys for some years.
When my older son started school, we would walk home together and discuss what he'd learned and talk about life. ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
All divine beings gather for an emergency meeting
The gods take their time, but one by one everyone is in attendance around a long, dark table on a well-lit cloud.
Yahweh is at the head of the table, simply dressed and glowing. Satan sat at the other end, dressed in a casual suit and a trench coat, a cigarette in hand.
**Yahweh:** O...
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