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Ac Jokes

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Why there is no AC in the Pornstar's home?

Because she has only fans

My friend didn’t believe me that Slash was in AC/DC

C’mon he is right there in the middle

Joke from AC Origins

You know what they say:

Greeks invented the threesome

And the Romans added women.

AC Bill

My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high the air conditioning bill is.


I told him, "My door is always open."

My dogs only like me when I turn on the AC

I guess that's what they call, *airconditional love*.

The AC

Me : Did you turn on the AC?
Friend : No
Me : It'd be a lot cooler if you did

God calls Satan.

"Hey, I think we misplaced an engineer and he ended up in Hell."

"Yeah, Carl. Been doing a wonderful job. We finally got an AC system up and running and the heaters are fixed. He even designed an auto-poker for the pitchfork teams."

"Send him back here, he belongs in Heaven."

"Y...

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tiger wouldn't do that

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed and just about ready to consummate their marriage when the new bride says to the husband: "I have a confession

to make - I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yea... I...

4 Engineers get in a car and the AC isn't working.

The mechanical engineer says, "the belt fan motor must not be working."

The electrical engineer says, "the fuse might be blown."

The chemical engineer says, "impurities in the gasoline."

The IT engineer says, "have you tried turning it off and on"

Why don't boomers like to use AC or DC?

They hate anything that is current

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked - Where did you get such a great bike?

The second one replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike".

She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want".

The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the...

At an AC/DC concert...

Brian Johnson: You guys ready to rock?
Crowd: YESSSSSS
Brian Johnson: I can't hear you!

Why do hospitals have AC?

Because they need to keep their vegetables fresh.

I'm so hot and I have no AC

Onlyfans

Say what you want about AC/DC...

But in my mind they will always be current

The first few times you get hit by AC, it really hertz

But after that, it'll barely phase you.

What did the fan say to the ac?

You are like me but cooler

Dad : Did you turn on the AC?

Son: I don't know what the AC likes, dad.

Dad: And yet you think why you're not even remotely in a relationship with a girl.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John to sex worker: Damn, it's hot in here, do you have an AC?

"Nope I have only fans"

Was playing air drums to AC/DC the other day when I dropped my stick...

...had to switch to Def Leopard

What do AC/DC feed their horses?

HAY HAY HAY HAYYY!

It was already foretold by AC/DC

Huawei to Hell.

My dad got really angry when our AC stopped working.

This always happens when he loses his cool.

Why are AC/DC always so hungry?

Cause it’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll

It’s really hot outside but fear not, my car has the deluxe 2fifty AC feature.

2 windows down, driving 50 miles per hour!

Some people say rolling for stats in D&D is old fashioned and unforgiving

But I think it builds character.

How do you help your AC through a problem?

Gotta let it vent to you.

A church had their AC stolen

The next day there was a note on the church doors reading: "Dear thief! Keep the AC you stole, where you'll be going you'll need it"

Now I know what BC and AC stands for

Before COVID and After COVID

What do you call a man who steals ac units?

An aircon.

An engineer dies and mistakenly gets sent to hell

At first he’s in shock, he wasn’t supposed to end up here! But then he starts to look around & notice things.
Everyone is always so grouchy because of the heat, so he fixes the AC. And they’re always bored because there’s nothing to do, so he fixes the cable box. Slowly but surely he starts ...

I bought a product that was supposed to turn me into an AC unit.

I’m not a fan.

The date I took to the AC/DC concert had buck teeth, giving her a cute beaver smile

She was the best dam woman I had even seen

In the summer I lose track of how many AC’s are in my apartment

I guess I’m just not good at accounting.

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I saw my son playing with a used diaper while the AC was on

It was all fun and games untill shit hit the fan

I want to write a rock opera about Rosa Parks; to be performed by AC/DC.

It'll be called Black in Back.

I'm thinking about starting up a neurodivergent, mermaid-themed parody band of AC/DC. It's gonna be called

OCD Sea

It was a day like any other at the office for Dave, when all of a sudden, a bear opens his door.

"We're out of coffee," says the Bear, and it left.

Dave was obviously surprised that a literal bear opened his door. He almost thought he may have been smoking something, but he brushed it off immediately. "Maybe someone is pulling a prank, I don't know." But later when he goes to the break r...

A couple of years ago, I was staying at a tiny Spanish Inn

A couple of years ago, I was staying at a tiny Spanish Inn when I started to feel ill. Needing a doctor, I rang reception who said they'd get the hotel doctor to visit. I was rather surprised that such a small place would have a house doctor, and was just telling the manager this when my room door b...

can you guys help me find an AC/DC song?

it has 3 power chords and the lyrics are about being a badass, Thanks!





*stolen from RYM*

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Nuns are painting the chapel on a hot summer day.

Nuns are performing a much-needed renovation on the chapel. Today they paint... and the AC isn't working great (that's getting fixed tomorrow). It's a sweltering hot summer day, so they decide that since they're all sisters in Christ, they'll just lock the doors and strip of their gowns and other cl...

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Naked Cowboy

A sheriff of a small town is patrolling the town one night when he comes across a cowboy walking up Main St. The cowboy is wearing nothing except his hat, boots, and gunbelt. The sheriff is a bit surprised at first but gets over his initial shock and arrests the cowboy for indecent exposure.

...

It's been so hot lately, so I finally got a new AC...

and i nicknamed it DIRK cuz it's so clutch against the heat.

I may say I hate AC/DC but secretly they're my favourite band.

I've been tsunderstruck.

So apparently my neighbor doesn’t believe in air conditioning

He’s an ACeist

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Home Depot Scam alert

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 18 or 19-year-old girls come ove...

An engineer dies, and by some mistake he is sent to hell.

Satan was unsure of why the engineer was sent down there, but he might as well be of use. He commissioned the engineer to install AC, plumbing, various water features, and many other amenities that really started to turn hell into a pretty decent place.

God, on the other hand, took notice of ...

I tried only fans for a bit, but...

My house was still too hot so I ended up getting a new AC system.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I feel bad for porn stars…

They don’t get AC, only fans

A stutterer called an emergency.

Dialog ensues:

Hi emergency here what's your emergency.
Hi-i-i I found a d-d-dead horse at the r-r-r-road. I do-don't want there t-t-to be ac-accidedents.
Can s-s-someone tak-ke it away?
Ok sir what is your location.
At spr-spr-spr-spri-spring...Springside Circle?N-n-No no...

What is the coolest letter in the alphabet?

B, because it is in between the AC.

Which is an electrician favorite band ?

AC/DC

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Pigeon problem

Visited a friend on the eighth floor of her old government office building in Washington. There were hundreds of pigeons sitting on the ledge along the building outside the windows, making noise and pooping, two inches deep in some places. They were really annoying. I asked her if they'd tried getti...

I rushed home because my girlfriend kept saying she was "hot and bothered".

Turns out the AC is busted.

An engineer dies and goes to hell

Lucifer : I don't get it, you weren't supposed to be here, maybe there's some mixup, hold on...."*calls God*"

God : Yo Lucy, wassup?

Lucifer : Was Mr. Rowan supposed to be here, I don't find him on the list.

God : Oh yeah, he was supposed to be here in heaven. Looks like Reaper ...

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A group of asexuals are playing cards

one, the dealer, says "I would tell you all not to cheat, but there are already five aces at the table."

Little Mikey

Little Mikey Tomlinson loved his school. He lived in a little fishing village and his mom was the school teacher. The school had a tradition. If it was your birthday you got to choose the fish for lunch and any toy you wanted from the toy chest. For months he had his eye on a replica AC cobra hot wh...

A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...

Some people drop acid while others drop the base.

Your wife is hot

It's time to get your AC fixed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An attractive blonde was failing math class...

She approached the professor, distraught, and asked if she could speak with him.

He, of course, was eager to assist.

She then sat down, and started to explain ...

'Professor, when I was 8, my appendix burst and they had to take it out.

I then wrecked my bike and they had...

What subject did Dracula major in during college?

AcCOUNTing

This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.

What do you call a gunship playing rock and roll?

An AC-DC130

My friend offered to show me a magic trick.

"Sure," I said.

My friend pulled out a deck of cards, shuffled it thoroughly, then gave it to me.

"Pick a card, any card. Look at it, then put it back," he said.

I was suspicious, so I asked him if I could shuffle the deck, too. He agreed, so I shuffled it five times, cut the de...

What do you call Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison's band?

AC/DC

Have you heard about the gynecologist who quit his job?

Yeah so he became a mechanic.

Went to school and for the first test, he had to disassemble then reassemble an engine.

He got a %150. He got confused and asked his teacher how he got that grade.

Teacher says, "I gave you %50 for taking it apart, %50 for reassembling it and runnin...

Just one kiss, please

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her doorstep. As they were about to wish each other goodnight,the guy started feeling a little in the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, said to her,

“Honey, would you give me a kiss?”
...

I asked an EV driver what music he liked

He said AC/DC

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Artificial Intelligence & Counter Intelligence

Hey Google, I am feeling the urge to have sex.


Google: Most certainly. I am dimming the lights. Setting your AC to 22 degrees. Viagra is kept on the top right shelf of your wardrobe. The gel is kept next to it. I have hired your favourite Thai masseuse.

She is just 12 minutes ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My poem about a heavy metal band's best album is being read on British radio

ABCB on ACDC's ace CD on BBC

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke I heard as a kid: “Three ants are sleeping on a beautiful naked woman…

… and the morning after they are debating on who found the better place to sleep.

The first ant says: “My spot was the best! I rested on the soft hills”

The second ant replies: “No, no, mine was the best! I slept in the deep forest”

Then the third ant comes and says: “Well...

My uncle in Washington started an Air Conditioning business.

it's called ac/dc

Why are B's so cool?

Cause they're in between the AC

What is an electric engineers favourite band?

Ac-Dc

There's a hot girl in my bedroom.

So I turned on the AC.

My girlfriend thinks I stole her phone charger. She can only find the cord.

I told her I won’t stand for these baseless accusations.

An engineer went to Hell...

The engineer looks around, confused, and sees that despite having lived what he felt was a pious and good life, he is in Hell.

Satan quickly introduces himself. "Welcome to Hell. I can't say i was expecting you, so i guess St. Peter made a mistake when he put you on the Hell list. I'll have o...

City Man Visits the Farm

A farmer's sister and her husband come and visit from the city. After unpacking the husband asks the farmer what he is planning to do.

"Wait," the husband says let me guess, "You are going to jump in your tractor, program the GPS, turn on the AC, crank up the radio and cruise around all day....

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Environment my ass

A small ATM room having two ACs and 4 tubelights, working 24 hours, is asking me not to print receipt to save environment..

At the Pearly Gates in Heaven

The first applicant of the day at the Pearly Gates explains that his last day was not a good one...
“I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just got out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she w...

Why is the quadratic formula so cool?

Because it has 'ac'.

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A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him...

As they talked, her robe slipped open and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.

The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her...

It's so hot today...

... I saw a meth-head putting copper back into an AC unit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An engineer dies and goes to heaven...

The engineer found himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail...

Whit's the differ atween a rich Scotsman, a puir Scotsman, an a deid Scotsman?

The rich Scotsman has a canopy ower his bed.

The puir Scotsman has a can o pee under his bed.

The deid Scotsman cannae pee at a'.

[If you need help: http://www.dsl.ac.uk/]

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