UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Iris‌‌h daughte‌‌r ha‌‌d no‌‌t bee‌‌n hom‌‌e fo‌‌r ove‌‌r ‌‌5 years‌‌. When she returned, he‌‌r Fathe‌‌r curse‌‌d he‌‌r heavily‌‌.

"Wher‌‌e hav‌‌e y‌‌e bee‌‌n al‌‌l thi‌‌s time‌‌, child‌‌? Wh‌‌y di‌‌d y‌‌e no‌‌t writ‌‌e t‌‌o us‌‌, no‌‌t eve‌‌n ‌‌a line‌‌? Wh‌‌y didn'‌‌t y‌‌e call‌‌? Ca‌‌n y‌‌e no‌‌t understan‌‌d wha‌‌t y‌‌e pu‌‌t ye‌‌r ol‌‌d Mothe‌‌r through?‌‌"
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Th‌‌e girl‌‌, crying‌‌, replied‌‌, "Dad..‌‌. ‌‌I beca...

A limerick writ for a Twit

An executive reckless and bitter

Made a fool of himself via Twitter

*"Please stop!"* they entreated

But in answer he Tweeted

*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*

I started writting an autobiography but I gave up...

Story of my life.

How does a lawyer get rid of their cancer?

They write a cease and de-cyst.

Did you know that US law protects dolphins from indefinite imprisonment?

Also know as the writ of habeas porpoise

Nobody rewarded me :(

I see people in the subreddit of ''GetMotivated'' writting stuff like ''I am a month free from alcohol'' or ''I am 3 months away from gambling'' and they get awards for doing that. Well I wrote there ''I am 3 months away from studying''. Nobody rewarded me. Thank you people of reddit!

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