As I sat there winding my hair through my fingers, I thought to myself
"I really need to shave my ass"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Two nuns are driving down a dark, winding road in rural Romania. . .
when they turn a corner to see a vampire hovering over what appears to be a body in the middle of the road. It looks up and hisses as the headlights illuminate blood-covered fangs.
Sister Mary looks at Sister Elizabeth and says, "What should I do?"
Sister Elizabeth answers, "Show him y...
Two elves are winding down in the North Pole bar after a long day of making toys.
After downing some shots of peppermint schnapps, the first elf says to the second, “That COVID outbreak in China has really messed up the toy production schedule. I don’t think Santa has ever pushed us so hard!”.
The second one added, “Yeah, things were so bad today that Rudolph and Blitzen...
A man driving down a winding country lane noticed two people on the road.
They were wearing robes and sandals, had shaved heads and holding up signs.
One sign read "The End is Near!"
The other sign read "Change Before it's Too Late!"
He slowed the car and rolled down the window. "Get lost you religious nuts!" He yelled.
He sped off round the co...
Trump Finally Gets His Parade
One of Trump's aide says to him, "Sir, I had a dream you got your parade. It was miles and miles long winding through Washington DC. Joyful Americans lined the route, literally in the millions. People were laughing, cheering, playing in the street. You were riding in the most beautiful carriage."...
A man was driving in a very rural area.
Suddenly he saw a sign, "St Mary's Convent and Brothel, All Welcome, 10 miles."
He was very surprised, and when he saw the St Mary sign, he turned of and stopped in the parking lot.
He knocked on the door, and an elderly nun opened it. He said, "I am here for the brothel." The nun jus...
Two guys are sitting next to each other in a pub.
After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."
The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"
The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?"
The other guy answers, "I'm...
Sisters
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 15 mi.’
He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought.
Soon, he sees another sign tha...
The night's winding down, and all the customers have left except for this one drunk.
Bartender: Hey man, you should get going, go back home and get some sleep.
The drunk leaves through the back door of the establishment and, as the bartender is cleaning up, comes back in through the front 10 minutes later.
Bartender: Hey man, I just kicked you out, we're closing for th...
My friend just told me this long and winding story about how he lost the tip of his index finger in an accident.
It was a bit pointless.
As Covid19 winds down, another virus is spreading like wildfire
Covid19 may be winding down, but a brand new virus, the ID10t virus, is spreading like wildfire. Symptoms of the ID10t virus include mental and comprehension issues. Symptoms include schitzophasia, a condition where words are misunderstood. A victim may hear or read a words like "baking soda" a...
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