Pals Jokes - 16 Hilarious Pals Jokes

A man had pen-pals all across the Caribbean.

He had one friend in in Cuba and many all across Jamaica. One day the Cuban is traveling abroad near the man's home and asks if he can stop by for dinner while he's there. The man thinks this is a fantastic idea and starts cooking when his roommate walks in.
"Hey, what's up?"
"One of my pen-pa...

Thor and his pals were bored in Asgard one evening

So they came up with the idea to travel to Earth and go to a nightclub. He bumps into a very attractive girl at the bar and without saying a word, they are in love with each other and start making out. They leave immediately and go back to the girl's place. The passion is intense and they make love ...

Some American psycho killed a woman with an axe, but his church pals paid $100.000 and he got released

Indeed, it was a Christian bail

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Englishman go into a pub

They sit down at a small round table and order three warm beers. They're sitting there drinking them when one of them notices an Irishman at the bar.
"See that Mick over there? I'm gonna go rile him up." So he goes over to him and says "Hey mate I hear your Saint Patrick was a pussy!" ...

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This horse and chicken have been good pals for a long time.

So there’s this horse and a chicken, they’ve been friends…good pals for a long time. One day the chicken wakes up to this screaming and runs out of the farmer's house only to find the horse in a pit of mud sinking. Chicken says, “holy shit, how the fuck did you end up in here?” Horse explains “I’...

I went to the Doctors and told him kept hallucinating and seeing Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and their pals.....

The Doc said not to worry...you're just having Disney spells...

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A drunk is sitting with his pals and he pukes on his trouser leg. He tells his pals that his wife will lose her mind If he comes home like this and one of them says “put $20 in your top pocket and tell her a stranger puked on you and gave you $20 for dry cleaning.”

“Brilliant!” says the drunk, heading out. When he gets home, his wife says “Look at the state of you!” and he says, “Not to worry, a drunk puked on me and have me $20 for dry cleaning, it’s in my top pocket.”

She fishes out $40 and stares at him for a few and then says “there is $40 here...”<...

3 Psychoanalysts walk into a bar

Bartender says: we have every beer from around the world. What can I get you fellas?

Sigmund Freud says: I’ll have an Austrian lager in a pint glass

Carl Jung says: I’ll have a Swiss lager also in a pint glass

Bartender looks at the third guy and says: where you from buddy?
...

When I was in college I agreed to go out dancing at a club with some pals for my friend Eileen's birthday...

I don't really like to dance, so they had to twist my arm a bit, but when I got there I started to have a lot of fun.

They played "The Twist" and I did the twist!

They played "The Hustle" and I did the hustle!

Then they played "Come On Eileen"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Best pals, Frank and Paul, are out for a day of golf. On the third hole, Paul accidentally putts the ball into a field of buttercups. Determined to get the ball back onto the green, he demolishes half of the flowers in the process. As he raises his club to take another swing...POOF! Mother Nature

appears. "What have you done?!! As punishment for destroying my precious buttercups, you shall have no butter for your toast ever again. No butter for baked potatoes either. Actually, no. You shall have no butter for anything...for the rest of your life!" And then, POOF! She was gone.

In tota...

Seamus walked into the pub, sat down at his usual table...

...and proudly announced, “Drinks are on me tonight, boys.”

His pals looked at each other, knowing that Seamus was very tight with his wallet. Michael spoke up, “Are ye OK?”

Seamus clapped him on the shoulder and said, “Aye, Mikey, I’m just fine. Last night, while I was here with you l...

The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?"

"Eleven", she replies.

The sheriff thinks to himself, "That's not what I wanted, but I guess she’s right!"

"What two days of the week begin with the letter T?" he asks.

"Today and Tomorrow", the blonde answers.

The sheriff is again surprised that the blonde has supplied a...

I asked why the automobile club called themselves “The Wrist.”

Turns out they were the Car Pals.

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Little Timmy

When little Timmy went to school,
and mastered one to nine.
He thought the other kids were cool,
and every class divine.
He painted shapes in red and blue,
and drew in curves and bends.
And by the time the day was through,
he’d made a hundred friends!
“I’m pals with Pete, and...

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The accommodating wife

A woman complains to her friend that her husband is losing interest in sex, and he prefers nights out with the lads to the joys of copulation. Her friend tells her that to win his love she must make more effort. She advises her to cook a slap-up meal and then send him drinking with his pals down the...

A band of russian friend are in their hotel room, joking about Stalin’s regime and cracking political jokes.

Worried that they were going too far, Sasha decides to play a practical joke on his pals and lighten the mood a bit. He slips downstairs to the lobby and asks the receptionist for an orange juice to be brought to room 304.

When he comes back to the room, he tells his friends “Guys, stop playi...

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