My wife asked me why I was whispering at home...

I said I was worried that Mark Zuckerberg was listening, She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed. Siri laughed... We all laughed...

Two four-year old kids are whispering…

Two four-year olds are whispering to each other, one says “guess what, I found a condom on the patio”. The other says “what’s a patio”.

*At my boss's funeral, kneeling and whispering at coffin*

"Who's thinking outside the box now Karin?"

Heard a guy whispering Pokemon jokes to his friend

But I couldn't catch em all

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Escaped prisoner robbing a Couple

After being in prison for 15 years, a man escapes. He breaks into a house to look for money & guns but finds a young couple in bed. He orders the man out of the bed ties him to a chair. He tied the girl to the bed and kisses her neck. Then he gets up & goes into the bathroom.
The husband ...

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Dr. Mike had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Mike, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of your patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just le...

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Pierre the French fighter pilot was the greatest fighter pilot the world had ever seen.

His skill in a plane was rivaled only by his skill in bed and he had many a fair young thing aching for his love.

On a bright summer day he was picnicking with a young lady in the shade of a willow tree near a lake. They had talked for a while but the woman could wait no longer and she leane...

Joe the Carpenter

Joe was a simple and serious man. He was a carpenter in a small village named Arge Oaks where he owned the store "Joe's Carpentry."

For years Joe impressed his fellow neighbors with the highest quality carpentry work. Some people in town complained he was a bit too expensive, but no one ever...

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The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He...

My son asked me why I was whispering all quiet.

I told him I thought the CIA was listening. He laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.

An executive of a company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispering, "Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked," Is your daddy home?"

"Yes." whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?" the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult...

The operator got annoyed at me for whispering..

but I don't get it, they said themselves they're 'experiencing unsually high call volume'

Cop: sit on that chair, we're gona interrogate you.

Lawyer: *whispering* deny everything.
Me: *loudly* thats not a chair!

Whispering voice

A man was watching TV in his house, then he suddenly heard a creepy whispering voice ,,sell your house“ the man was so scared that he listend to the voice and sold his house.

So the man was walking down the streets at midnight, suddenly the voice appeared again
„Go in the casino“
The ma...

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A patient is talking to his therapist.

Patient: (whispering) *I'm afraid of the 25th letter of the alphabet*

Therapist: Why?

Patient: *terrified screaming*

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A math professor, Dave, has a problem with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumbe...

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One day at a busy airport

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is ...

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