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Whitehouse Jokes

Bernie said he's going to legalize marijuana on his first day in the Whitehouse

On his second day he'll legalize it everywhere else.

What is the difference between New Zealand and the Whitehouse?

The Whitehouse has more Covid 19 cases than New Zealand.

What is the difference between organized crime and the Whitehouse?

The Whitehouse isn’t organized.

I'm starting to think the Whitehouse is a fruit stand.

An orange is being impeached because he's bananas!

Apparently all the bathroom fixtures in the Whitehouse are now gold.

I just heard the President likes gold in showers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump wants to paint the Whitehouse. He asks for a quote from a Chinese guy, a European, and a Turk.

The Chinese guy says he can do it for 3 million dollars, the European says he can do it for 7 million, and the Turk says he can do it for 10 million.

Trump asks the Chinese man why it would cost 3 million and he responds "one for paint, one for my workers, and one for my profit".

Tru...

Obama ran around the whitehouse with Biden.

Their total time was 9:48. When they had finished Biden said "Hey Barack, did we beat the record?" Out of breath Obama said "No, Bush did 9:11"

Whitehouse has a new slogan to encourage everyone to get back to work, school and boost the economy...

**!!No Lives Matter!!**

They're having a Christmas party at the Whitehouse!

They're gonna have egg nog, turkey, and President Obama is gonna be Santa so all the kids can sit on his lap and ask for presents! Michelle is organizing the whole thing, and she goes up to one of the Whitehouse interns, who happens to be a dwarf.

She says "Hey, we were wondering if you woul...

Bill Clinton steps off of a helicopter on the Whitehouse lawn, carrying two pigs.

A marine is there to greet him and says, "Nice pigs, sir!" Clinton replies, "Thank you! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." The marine says, "Nice trade, sir!"

Why was Trump excited to move into the Whitehouse?

Because he loves kicking black families out of government funded housing!

A secret service agent, nervous on his first day, sees Donald, Melania, and Barron Trump walking through the Whitehouse.

The new agent asks his supervisor, "Wow, is that really the First family?"

The supervisor, unfazed, replies, “No, I think this is at least the third for Mr. Trump."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bet the Whitehouse cleaning staff is happy that Trump is in office,

the toilets must be immaculate since all his shit comes out his mouth.

Bill Gates was being carried around the WhiteHouse by many Senators.

Asked them what was going on?


They said they were passing the bill.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 2016 Election

The election was in such shambles that none of the US citizens were voting, there was a nation wide boycott of the election.

Since no one was voting there had to be a way to decide who the next president was going to be. It was agreed that a foot race around The Whitehouse would determine the...

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