This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Berman lives in Alabama and works a new construction job on weekdays.

On Monday he calls in and says, “I can’t come in today. I’m sick.”

He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in again and says, “I can’t come in today. I’m sick.”

The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, “He’s great. He does the work of two men....

"Robot Walks in to a bar .... "

Robot walks into a bar Orders a drink, lays down a bill Bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve robots"And the robot says, "Oh, but someday you will"

**Bonus:**

Boy wants a car from his dad Dad says, "First, you got to cut that hair"Boy says, "Hey, Dad, Jesus had long hair"And Dad says, "...

When my grandfather came to America he was told the streets were paved with gold

And when he got to America he found out three things:

1. That the streets were not paved with gold
2. That the streets were not paved
3. That he was gonna be the guy paving them

[old Shelley Berman joke, told by Lorne Michaels in Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee]

Once upon a time, two race horses were born...

This is long, but worth it.

Their names were Herman and Berman and they were twins. Herman was born just slightly before Berman. Herman and Berman were colts of average work horses and were to work the fields everyday. One day Herman and Berman decide to have a race. Everyday at noon, the lu...

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