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Circumcised Jokes

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Why are Jewish men circumcised?

Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's at least 20% off.

Edit: Wow. So to all you humorless twats getting offended over a joke, I heard this while visiting my grandmother in the hospital. The Jewish woman (who was probably a little senile) that shared a room with her told me th...

I’m not circumcised so I only date Canadian Women…

They know how to Roll Up The Rim To Win.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Jews get circumcised?

Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.

I just got circumcised

Got any tips?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In college, I wasn’t admitted to any fraternity because I was circumcised.

To get in, you had to be a complete dick.

Can someone get circumcised at any age

Or is there a cutoff date?

I find it odd that so many Americans are circumcised...

Especially considering how many rely on tips to get by.

Chuck Norris was never circumcised...

Doctors did everything they could during the procedure including an intense 4 hour emergency surgery, but sadly they were unable to repair the injured knife and it passed away while on the operating table.

Fred goes to a doctor.

He says, "Doc, I want to be castrated. "

Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation. "

Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a littlee mbarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5...

A question about getting circumcised...

Is it customary to leave a tip?

Several churches started having problems with squirrels damaging their buildings.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had ...

Donald Trump was due to get circumcised

But the doctor said the procedure couldn’t go ahead due the fact that “there is literally no end to this prick”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Circumcised

A man walks into a urologist office and says
"I want to be castrated"!
Dr Says "you can't be serious"!
Man says "I insist on being castrated." and drop 10 grand on the table

Next month this guy is talking to his friend who says
"I hear getting circumcised makes sex better.."
...

Are you circumcised?

A man walks into the Election office in Manchester and says to the Receptionist: "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be an independent candidate".

Receptionist: "Certainly sir, no problem. Please fill in this Form".

He was filling the Form until he ca...

I knew a guy that circumcised whales.

It didn’t pay much but the tips were huge.


credit u/mole4000

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are jews circumcised?

Because its not kosher to mix cheese with meat.

Can older adults be circumcised?

Or is there a cut off date ?

I’m getting circumcised tomorrow

any tips?

Why aren't cowboys circumcised?

So they have a place to put their chewing tobacco when they're eating.

I was circumcised yesterday.

The doctor did such a good job I left him a tip.

Why are most American men circumcised?

Because its rude to have the hospital deliver you and not leave a tip

Here's a joke about circumcised foreskins.

[Removed]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Cousin was born with no eyelids. Later when he was circumcised, they used the foreskin to create eyelids for him.

Everything turned out fine......he's just a lil Cock eyed.

Why do Jewish guys get circumcised?

Because they know Jewish girls can't resist something that's 30% off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the circumcised foreskin have trouble making friends?

He was a bit of a dick.

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