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Vibes Jokes

Don't give off Bundy vibes

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

The girl next to me at the dinner party told me I had real Leo vibes. I asked “Why, because I’m so confident and fiery?”

She replied “No, because your girlfriend is 19”

What do you call an artist who gives off bad vibes?

Sketchy...

When I die, I want to be buried in an area with lots of seismic activity

Strictly for the good vibes

My friend was complaining about her boyfriend.

my friend was complaining about her boyfriend not being able to satisfy her.

i told her i was sending good vibes her way.

the ones with 8 settings and a suction cup that can un-dent a car.

"Barkeep, why are there pills glued to the top of the bar seating?" "Oh, some people complained that our seats were too hard. Those are stool softeners."

"And, cushions would have rectal the loose vibes we work so hard to cultivate."

I suspect the motor in my massage chair is starting to go...

It’s been giving me some bad vibes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Local hippies are boycotting the sex shop.

I guess they have bad vibes.

A business owner posted an ad on classifieds looking for logo designers...

The ad said: "Looking for a talented youth that can design an attractive logo. As I am a small business owner, the work is unpaid. You will be working for exposure."

A recently graduated graphic designer reads this ad. As he was unemployed and struggling to find a job, he thought that he woul...

My friend got fired

VERY SAD DAY for a friend of mine of after 7 yrs of medical school and training has been fired for one small indiscretion. She slept with one of her patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, money and training. She's still paying on her school loans. This goes to show ...

I didn't like this marimba player very much...

...He just had bad vibes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NEW OFFICE POLICY 2013 Dress Code

ALL EMPLOYEES

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manag...

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