Student Loan Jokes

It's called "Post Malone's Post Pone Ma Loans"

Those are a lucky 4 people.

I don't think I can ever repay you.

I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.

We're now required to forgive the government for our student loan debt.

He forgot to read the second claws

for being the only one from college keeping in touch

Cause I'd like to have you around for the rest of my life.

Luckily I'm a statistician.

You could have some fun time before you get herpes.

During the job interview, my boss said I spend to much time thinking before I answered the questions, so they have doubts with my sincerity. Nevertheless, he said he saw my potential and picked me.

The board was going to meet today to discuss about an impending merger. My boss asked me to co... read more

Frugality...

I guess it's true that thyme is money

Me: hey babe, are you a federal student loan? Because it looks like you have low interest

My date: Yep.

Me: oh

"Why the long face?" the bartender asks...


"Haha," the horse replies, sarcastically, "Haven't heard that one before."


"Just got the news," the horse continues, "I've been accepted into college."


Bartender says, "That's great news! You should be celebrating."
<... read more

Now they're outstanding!

The Millennial Falcon

Divorce

I wish I can post this in a different sub.

Just think, for every cigarette you smoke it takes 7 minutes off your student loans.

So sad those kids have so much student loan debt that they all have to share one ratty-looking cigarette.

It’s called Student Loans.

I could have just shown you my student loan statement.

And I say "sorry, my student loans don't cover it"

Once the avocado market dries up they can finally pay off their student loans and buy a house

The windshield shattered and a piece flew into his eye, blinding him and causing irreparable damage to the eyeball itself. As this man had substantial student loan debt, his doctor could only find one prosthetic eye in his price range and it happened to be made out of wood. To help him deal with thi... read more

After seven years of medical school and training my good friend was fired because of one little indiscretion, and can no longer work in the profession he had dedicated his life to. He slept with a patient. He is still paying back student loans. His family is devastated. It's such a damn shame be... read more

A wealthy man dies and in his will he asked his 3 best friends to hold 10,000 dollars. At his funeral they are supposed to throw the 30k into his coffin before they bury him. At the grave side the three men stand there and each throws in an envelope. Afterwards, they were drinking and the first man ... read more

I take a size large in student loans.

I was young.

There were more than one of them.

They wanted my interest and they got it.

They said I couldn't back out.

And it won't be that bad.

I took more than I could handle and it hurt.

Now it burdens me every day.

They said after college th... read more

Because you're almost as crippling as my student loans and anxiety.

A recent university graduate wins $1 million dollars, and is being interviewed by the news.

News anchor: So what will you do with the money?

The graduate: I will pay off my student loans.

News anchor: And what will you do with the rest?

The graduate: They'll have to wait... read more

They sit down at a table and order a bottle of whiskey. The boomer pours a tall glass for himself and says, "There ain't no social security left, so I'm pouring myself a big glass of whiskey!" Then, the millennial grabs the bottle an pours a medium sized glass and says, "I've got $100,000 in student... read more