Alternative

Dad, what is an *alternative*?

That's a tough one, son. I'll have to explain it by example.

Say, you use your savings to buy a few chickens. But you don't eat them for dinner, you wait until they mature into hens and roosters. They mate and voila, you've got dozens of fresh eggs. But.....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man was visiting his girlfriends parents for the first time.

As they ate dinner, he felt the need to pass gas, but he held it in quite a while. As the night wore on, he couldn't stand it, so he tried to let out just a little bit.

"Eeeep!"

The girls mother looks sharply at the dog and says "Spot!"

Twenty minutes go by, and he decid...

So a sleazy house painter gets a contract to paint a rectory.

Being the swindler cheapskate he is, he stirs water into the paint to save a buck. The painter hastily slaps the paint onto the rectory, and right as he applies the last stroke, the weather, which had been perfectly clear and sunny, instantly went dark, and a torrential rain poured down. The cheap p...

What do you call someone who hallucinates rainstorms?

Deluge-ional

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.