Carpentry Jokes

But i didn't think it wood work........

so i decided to add some metal work instead,

but i realised it steel wooden work.....

Submitting a stool sample.

Think I nailed it!

Jesus swept

*Holds hand in the air with fingers about 4 inches apart.*

Because men keep telling them this is eight inches.

He stumbles across an open construction site with a hiring sign.

The dog goes to the foreman and says he's willing to work and can start immediately. The foreman asks the dog if he has any experience with carpentry and construction.

The dog replies, "Some; I've got a lot of experienc... read more

They have no rulers

But nothing wood work.

And when he bragged he made a new front door decoration, I knew it was a sign.

Who wood have guessed I will come sofa.

She chose the ladder.

...I'm pretty proud of myshelf

Nailed it!

"Yeah, I love talking about myshelf"

"Isn't it obvious? We're reposting for karma."

They do small jobs here and there, mostly on farms and ranches, fixing up barns and building pens for farm animals. The father eventually wants his son to take over the business and has tried to teach him the ins and outs of woodworking, along with other important lessons he thinks that every carpen... read more

Ark-n-Saw.

He never could figure out carpentry

I totally nailed it.

then suddenly everyone will start coming out of the wood work

The friend complained that, due to the very old carpentry and fixtures in the home, she needed a pair of oversized drill bits but couldn't find them anywhere. The first friend pulled out a pair of huge drill bits from her purse and asked if they would do. The second friend was thrilled and asked whe... read more

A dentist was examining a patient and said, "I've got to be honest, your teeth are very clean but they are the most badly chipped and damaged set I've seen. What on earth are you doing to cause this?"

"Well, I'm a nervous guy and I do a lot carpentry work" said the man sheepishly.

"I d... read more

He asks the cashier,

“I’d like to get into carpentry, but how could I ever make anything with my disability?”

The cashier, not knowing how to help, tried to find a way to help the old man.

“Well, if you were to start I’d go really slow, don’t get any heavy machinery or complic... read more

I said that I "nailed" it.

The saw sages.

Joe was a simple and serious man. He was a carpenter in a small village named Arge Oaks where he owned the store "Joe's Carpentry."

For years Joe impressed his fellow neighbors with the highest quality carpentry work. Some people in town complained he was a bit too expensive, but no one ever... read more

He got too attached to his work.

So a sheep had a big house in the middle of nowhere. After some time she noticed some pigs wandering around and they asked to move in for a week or two, they promised the sheep that during those two weeks they'll help her build a small cottage she wanted right next to her house. As they were buildin... read more

So i decided to take carpentry classes.

It was called Unlicensed Carpentry

Motel Coronavirus



On a dim dreary morning

Ceiling fan stirs the air

Stale beer and Doritos

Littered next to my chair

Just outside of my window

Saw a glimmer of light

My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding

I hadn't slept all last ni... read more

The man behind the desk, stunned says "hello Jesus, how can I help you?"

"I'm looking for work, my son" Jesus replies

"Can I ask what skills you have?"

"Well I'm a qualified carpenter"

The employment officer bashes his details in to the computer

"Well I have two c... read more