Trades Jokes - 20 Hilarious Trades Jokes

Construction trades

I know elevator workers make decent money but the job its self has its ups & downs.

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What do you call a Prostitute that only gives hand jobs?

Jack off all trades

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So a koala bear walks into a brothel.

He picks out the best looking girl, and heads upstairs with her. While up there, he eats her out like a madman, doing things she's never even heard of. After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.

The girl stops him and demands payment.

The koala doesn't understand. She has him l...

A duck walks into a tavern and orders a beer.

The bartender thinks "Wow, a talking duck," and pours him a beer.

The bartender asks "I don't think I've seen you in here before. Do you live in the neighborhood?"

The duck says "No, I live across town. I'm a drywaller, and I'm working the office renovation across the street. I...

Joe Biden is a Jack of all trades

Apparently he has his fingers in many pies.

If I have an Indian Restaurant, I'll call it Jack of All Trades

Master of Naan

They say that Indian Cooks are a jack of all trades...

But a master of naan.

My girlfriend said this to me when we were getting indian food tonight.

A starship engineer trades half their ship's cargo...

For a sub light engine. The captain finds out and is angry:
"Why did you trade valuable cargo for something 1/10th the value?"
The engineer replies: "Sorry captain, it was an impulse buy"

What do you call an alligator that solves crimes and day trades on the side?

An Investigator

The iPhone 7 is an of all trades

Sorry, I meant "jack of all trades" but there's no more jack.

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What do you call someone who can masteurbate to anything?

A "jack-off-all-trades"!

What do you call the ant in the colony who trades with other ant colonies for resources?

Import-ant

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What do you call a guy that masturbates to literally everything?

Jack of all trades

What do you call a man who can perform any task to an adequate degree and keeps a holy woman on a leash?

Jack of all trades, master of nun.

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What do you call people who have trade jobs can't afford to hire individual hookers?

A jackoff all trades.

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I like to go around to construction sites and give out handjobs.

A Jack off all trades.

A construction foreman hired a new guy and started getting complaints about him almost immediately...

He pulls the new hire into his office and asks him why he keeps trying to unzip everyone's pants. The new guys says "That's what you hired me for!" The forman says "I said I needed a jack "OF" all trades!"

My friend Jack is a prolific and unscrupulous trader, he has made a profit on everything

from silks to elephants, once he even purchased an enslaved nun. Calls himself Jack of All Trades, and master of nun.

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My ex-wife cheated on me with the plumber, the electrician, and carpenter

She was a jack off all trades

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I have a little bit of every kink

I’m a jerk-off-all trades

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