I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles...

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster!

Men are like floor tiles.

You lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them the rest of your life.

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I got drunk and to impress a girl, I swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

**EDIT: WOW, thanks for all the love on this post. It’s my first post in JOKES where I didn’t get ripped a new butthole for allegedly stealing/reposting. Thanks Reddit!**

Some thieves stole all the tiles on top of my house

Roofless

What’s the cheapest part of a house?

The roof tiles, because they’re on the house.

I think my dog ate all of the a scarbble tiles

He keeps dropping hints around the house

A wife finds a bathtub on her kitchen table.

A wife comes home and finds her husband sitting next to a new bathtub on the kitchen table. Shocked, she asks him where it came from.

“Well,” he says. “I went out today to pick up some tiles for our bathroom. So, I walked around the store, looking for the perfect color, when I saw the perfec...

Yesterday I saw a guy drop all his Scrabble tiles on the road.

I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

My girlfriend's roommate wouldn't let me redo their bathroom tiles.

What a caulk block.

Why did the directors of the performance ask for a stage made out of Scrabble tiles?

So they could have a play on words.

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I just was a bit drunk and accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles tonight.....

Going for a shit tomorrow morning could spell TROUBLE.

At the ceramic tile factory they have employee parties where they make the tiles stand on edge. Instead of commending the skill involved they make fun of eachother.

It is an erect tile diss function.

Last week my dog ate the bag of scrabble tiles.

Ever since then he has been leaving little messages around the house.

Country girl Sheila, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom tiles.

Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suction cupped herself to the Bathroom Floor.

She yelled out for her Ol' Man, "Biker John!
He came running in.

"I've suctioned myself to the floor."

"Biker John tried to pull her up.
"You're stuck re...

My friend Eric believes his true purpose in life is to write put-downs on the back of kitchen tiles

He calls it his Eric-tile diss-function

How are tiles and fat chicks the same?

They both get laid by Mexicans.

I forgot to take my phone to the toilet

There are 1325 vertical and 975 horizontal lines on the tiles.

Funny indeed

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.

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I got drunk yesterday and ate some scrabble tiles....

Seemed fun at the time, but now that I'm sober, I fear my next poop could spell disaster.

A toothbrush journey in India

Very real story...,,

A Dentist was conducting a global survey-
*"How long do you use your Toothbrush...?"*

Chinese:
"3 months...!"

American:
"1 month...!!"

Indian:
"There is no fixed time limit doctor, it may be years...!!! Initially we use it for *brushing* ...

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Mr. S is talking to Mr.B

First time telling a joke here. A bit dry but I find it funny

Mr. S is talking to Mr.B
Mr.B your bathroom is the same exact size like my bathroom. I need to buy tiles, how many boxes did you get when you did yours?

Mr.B: 20 boxes of tiles!

A week later

Mr.S tells Mr....

A young woman had a habit of doing naked gymnastics in the living room in the afternoon

One day she decided to try a a split, thereby creating a vacuum which sucked her firmly to the tile floor. In spite of all her attempts, she couldn't free herself and had to wait for her husband to come home.

When he got there, he pulled as hard as he could, too. But she remained completely s...

What did the bishop say after they redid the vestibule with black and white tiles?

"It looks nice but now I can only enter and exit diagonally "

My remaining Scrabble tiles were PENSI, so I played the name of a long, hard body part ...

... SPINE.

What do you call it when your shower tiles are cracked and don't repel water the way they should?

A wrecked tile dysfunction.

Today I went to the bathroom without my phone.

There are 124 tiles in my bathroom.

Scrabble

Wife: OMG the baby just swallowed some Scrabble tiles!
Husband: Which ones?
Wife: BLTOUR & E
Husband: Well, th...

A man calls a tiler ... (old East Germany joke)

... "Hi! I'd like some bathroom tiles repaired please. When can you come?"

Tiler: "Next appointment is in 8 years."

Man: "Oh, OK, I take it."

Tiler: "Morning or Afternoon?"


(This is the type of joke that went around in communist countries like Eastern Europe. Tradesme...

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Complaining wife

A wife complained to her husband:

"The kitchen faucet has been leaking for a week now and you still haven't fixed it!"

"Do I look like a fucking plumber?", the man answered.

The next day the woman complained again:

"Some tiles fell down in the bathroom, aren't you going...

A woman is cleaning her bathroom...

...and slips. She does the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She calls her husband.

"I'm kinda stuck to the floor...".

He tries to lift her, but can't do it. So he calls a plumber.

They both tried to pull her up, to no avail.

So he says "I'm sorry, but ...

Wrote this one myself (it's a long one but it's good)

There's a man who's decided to redo his bathroom.
He's going with an all red theme; red sink, red countertop, red toilet. The whole shabang.
He starts first with the red countertop, then he installs the red sinks and toilet, then he finally starts laying the tiles.
The ground tiles are lai...

The WiFi was down in the morning.

Discovered that the bathroom had 42 tiles.

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The Magic Lamp

A man walks into a bar looking rather down on his luck. The Bartender asks what's wrong, and the man produces a foot tall gent wearing a tuxedo from his jacket pocket. Before the Bartender can ask, the man proceeds to open his suitcase, and plonks a tiny piano in front of the little man.

The ...

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Have I ever told you of Seamus? Oh no...

One evening while I was vacationing in Scotland, I had decided to visit a pub near the piers. It was an older establishment, and all the more cozy for it.
As I sat there enjoying my drink at the bar, I noticed that a drunken fellow a few stools away from me would occasionally glance at me and gr...

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A Strange Date

A young man, out on the tiles with his mates, spies the girl of his Dreams across a dance floor.

Having admired her from afar, he finally gets up the courage to talk to her.

Everything goes better than expected and she agrees to accompany him on a date the following Saturday evening. ...

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The end to Bender's naked lady joke in The Breakfast Club...

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table.
Bartender says " I suppose you won't be needing a drink"
Naked Lady says ..... (*Bender falls through ceiling*)
**"Well, my boyfriend and I were just ab...

I've bought up all the Scrabble games I can get my hands on.

I heard there's a lot of money in text tiles.

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