Threatened Jokes

And then I saw her face...

So I called her Bluff...

And then I saw her face...

Isn't it great when problems solve themselves?

At the check-in the woman said “window or isle.” I said “window or you’ll what?”

She said, "You act so childish whenever I'm around. Now, it's either 'your mom' jokes or me."

I said, "And I, like so many men before me, will eagerly choose your mom."

Attack!

When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, be... read more

But I told her “Babe, I can change!”

Hispanic Room

"I'm about to demonstrate to you how kneecaps are a privilege and not a human right."

"I can bring it in warm...or I can bring it in cold."

A lady threatened to sue her husband's doctor because after he recovered from surgery he had performance issues in bed. She claimed that he could no longer get it up and therefore could no longer please her.

The Doctor responded with "How's that my fault? I only removed his cataracts."

I said: "There's the door"

I think she's being unfair, it's not like I did anything.

My wife threatened to leave me because of my “filthy and disgusting habits.”

I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.

I told her Soviet.

He threatened him with real percussions

Firefighters attempted to save it by pouring water on a nearby hill and hoping it would trickle down.

But I'm not scared because he's shooting blanks.

She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle.”

I laughed right in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”

It was a real abuse of power

But I said I needed thyme to think.

Google: "Could you be more specific?"

I let her go.

Gotta look out for number one.

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea one day. The first one was called Justin and the second one was called Kristian. They were continually being chased and threatened by the sharks that inhabited the area.

Eventually Justin had had enough. He said to Kristian, "I'm fed up with being a ... read more

He passed out on the floor.

I don't negotiate with terrorists.

I said "but baby, I can change!"

Kaiba: You fool! You've activated my Trump card.

We were relieved when we found out they were all the same person.

How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

I told her to go ahead, but remember that she's so self absorbed the tears won't even make it to her cheeks.

They threatened to do unspeakable things !

...Picking up the phone, he spoke "Hebrew."

In fact they are so concerned about the angry Twitter response from president Trump that they are going to set up their own ‘Mullah investigation’ to look into the matter.

Man, the moment the EPA gets threatened people start dropping white trash in our water.

He askes her what it was all about and she said that she had been threatened by someone she thought was her friend earlier that evening.

Now, Rick has no idea how to handle this, so goes to confront his friend Lee, who has some experience with things like this.

After a long discussion... read more