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Theorists Jokes

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar

You can't tell me that's just a coincidence .

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Two Conspiracy Theorists Die...

...as they stand before God waiting to be judged, God tells them that they each may ask him one question they have always wanted to be answered and he would answer it.

One of the conspiracy theorists steps forward and asks “who was REALLY behind 9/11?”

Before God can answer, the seco...

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Two 9/11 conspiracy theorists are in a plane when it crashes

An instant later they find themselves in the afterlife, being judged by Almighty God Himself.

One falls to his knees, "I deplore you, all-powerful Creator of the universe! Before you judge me, I humbly beg you, reveal who was behind the September 11 attacks!"

God sighs. "Muslim extremi...

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?

The real question is that who broke the light bulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?

edit.. thanks for the award kind stanger.

Have you heard about the new flatbread conspiracy theorists?

They're out to convince all naan believers.

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar

Yeah, we're really supposed to believe that happens randomly?

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Do your own research.

Conspiracy theorists are like, “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...”

It’s a government surveillance drone.

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar

One of them says “this can’t be a coincidence”

(My son came up with this and swears it’s original, so if I’m inadvertently reposting don’t blame me)

Two (more) conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven.

Now that they have the chance to ask any question of God, one of them asks "Do vaccines cause autism?"
God responds "No you fools. I gave humanity the key to save yourselves from countless deaths and so much suffering."

The conspiracy theorist gulps and turns to his friend....

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So two conspiracy theorists go to heaven

2 conspiracy theorists end up in heaven. They're at the gates and they see Jesus.

Jesus tells them that they can ask him any question they want. So they basically ask "who did 9/11?"


Jesus replies a "bunch of pissed-off terrorists"

The conspiracy theorists are shocked....

Can conspiracy theorists win a Nobel Prize?

They already have a Theory of Everything.

I just don't understand how conspiracy theorists make outrageous claims

5G must have really fried their brains.

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Three conspiracy theorists are sitting at a bar.

“Man, I can’t believe NASA thinks we’d eat up that moon landing bullshit,” one of them says.

“I know, right?” says another. “Everyone knows deep down that it was fake.”

“The moon is way too far away for anybody to realistically land on!” the third one interjects. “If they could do it, ...

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What is a Jewish conspiracy theorists biggest fear?

The Illumi-nazis.

😂Thought of this while driving yesterday...so it’s original as far as I know

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Two conspiracy theorists die and go to Heaven.

When they arrive, they ask Saint Peter if they can ask God a question. He agrees, and soon they find themselves in front of God.

"God," asked one of the conspiracy theorists, "who caused 9/11?"

"9/11 was caused by a group of God-hating individuals who wanted to sow terror and fear thro...

Whats worse than 10,000 conspiracy theorists?

1 real conspiracy.

A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven

The first thing he does is ask God, "Who really killed JFK?"

To which God replies, "It was Lee Harvey Oswald. He acted alone."

The conspiracy theorists thinks to him self for a moment then says, "This cover up of the truth goes even further than I thought!"

I think it would be pretty simple to send 5G conspiracy theorists to space

Just tell them there's Zero G

Someone asked me if I was one of those conspiracy theorists"

I replied, "why, who are you working for?"

What can conspiracy theorists never explain?

They say that 9/11 was an inside job...
but planes fly OUTSIDE.

Can't explain that

Conspiracy theorists, I hope you're right...

I hope the illuminati run this country, they seem like a safe bet

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Two conspiracy theorists are flying on a plane to a convention when it crashes.

They find themselves before God and tell him "We are but humble men, and for all our life we have sought the truth. You are all-knowing, so you know all the answers."

"What is your question?"

"We would really like to know who was really behind the 9/11".

"Osama bin Laden and the...

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Conspiracy theorists think that Vice President Cheney stole someone's identity, and that his birth name is actually Bart.

It's not true. I've met him. He's a real Dick.

My favourite band used to be The Conspiracy Theorists, but they split up.

It was the government's fault.

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank.

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(Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious; feel free to suggest a better wording!)

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Conspiracy theorists on Facebook on this joyous day of days.

These guys were brainwashed by the government to cover up Lincoln's murder because Kennedy's assassin really hated marathons. Especially the ones run by Disney every year because he was a nazi and everyone knows nazis are hiding on the dark side of the moon purposely keeping weed from being legalize...

The JFK files will be released today.

If there's anything that satisfies conspiracy theorists' curiosity, it's files released by the government.

I don't believe in conspiracy theories

I think conspiracy theorists are secretly working together to brainwash us

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