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The Terminator Jokes

What's the difference between The Terminator and your dad?

The Terminator will be back.
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I asked the clerk where the Terminator action figures were

She said "Aisle B, back".
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Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys?

Aisle B, back.
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C-3PO, Robocop, and The Terminator are planning a play about classical music composers

C-3PO says, “I’ll be Mozart”. Robocop says, “I’ll be Beethoven”. The Terminator says, “I’ll be Bach”.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Terminator franchise get reclassified as porn?

Because they thoroughly fucked the timeline.

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"
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The Terminator T-100 walks into a bar and says,

"Gimmie a screwdriver! I need to loosen up."
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The Terminator got sick of chasing Sarah Connor, so he started a pest control company.

He became an exterminator.
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My wife said she is leaving me because I always mis-quote the Terminator films.

She'll be back.
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What do you call the terminator in his Retirement

The Exterminator
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The terminator is like cancer

They’ll both be back
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I'm going to an Italian restaurant with The Terminator...

I can't decide between pasta or pizza, baby.
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What did the Terminator chicken say when it crossed the road?

I'll be bawk.
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The Terminator

I was talking with my good friend Arnold about what he was going to be for Halloween this year. It surprised me to hear that he intended to dress up as a composer. When i asked him which one he looked dead into my eyes and said "I'll be Bach."
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What was the Terminator's worst Haloween costume idea?

"I'll be black"
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What did the terminator say when he accidentally got sent back in time to the renaissance?

I'll be Bach.
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What did the Terminator do after he lost his job?

He became an Exterminator
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What did The Terminator say to convince his girlfriend to move in with him?

Live with me if you want to come.
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What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the movie execs when he found out they wanted more racial diversity in the Terminator movies?

I’ll be black.
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A Terminator walks into a bar...

He notices a fly and swats it, killing it immediately.

The bartender goes "I thought you only killed people."

The Terminator replies, "Negative. I am an Ex-Terminator."
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A Jehovah’s Witness knocked at my door this morning.

“Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day?” he asked.

“Well,” I replied, “I’m not a big fan of the Terminator series.” I Said
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Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked i an interview

Journo. "You have been so successful as an actor...."

Arnold ,"yes i was the Terminator"

Journo. "and as a governor!"

Arnold ,"yes i was the Governator!!"

Journo. "well, the Europeans need a leader like you, how about it?

Arnold ,""No , then I will be known as the ...
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Which movie villain works at the abortion clinic?

The Terminator.
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What do you call a Robotic Abortion Doctor?

The Terminator
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Father's Day

I don't get excited about gifts the way other people do, and it drives my wife nuts. For Father's Day, my wife was determined to get a reaction out of me and so she ordered me a custom-designed tie. She knew that I had two great passions in life: movies and dad humor, so she hired a well-known graph...
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Terminator walks into a police station

He opens the first office and two police officers stand there mouths open. They reach for their pistols, but the Terminator opens his mouth and out shoots the sound of ear piercing violins. The police officers drop their pistols and clench their hands against their ears, but it's too much, their hea...
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On the upside, Oscar Pistorus has had his paralympic classification promoted...

...he's gone from T43 (double below knee amputee) all the way up to T800 (The Terminator).
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