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Tennis Player Jokes

Never ever marry a tennis player

Love means nothing to them

I’ve made a website for depressed tennis players…

The servers are currently down...

Never date a tennis player

She’ll drop a deuce when you least expect it.

A tennis player is leaving the court and and a guy walks up to him.

“Hey what’s all that in your pocket?”

He says “It’s tennis balls”

“Well, if it’s anything like tennis elbow, it must be painful!”

Some Swedish tennis players come into this world born human, some born machine ...

and some bjorn borg.

I was dating a tennis player, but then she cheated on me

For a while I was at my break point until I realized it wasn’t my fault. Love means nothing to them.

A Serbian tennis player walks into a bar

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of Djok?"

Ever Date a Tennis Player?

Remember Love means nothing to them.

What do you call a tennis player who doesn’t get vaccinated?

No-vac Djokovic

If a tennis player can get tennis elbow

Does that mean a gynecologist can get tunnel vision?

If you are a serious tennis player, you should string your own equipment

Anything off the shelf is a racket

What was the name of that very calm Russian tennis player?

Oh yeah, I got it - Panikova!

With the US Open going on...how do tennis players discipline their kids?

Mostly with their forehand, sometimes their backhand.

I’m not too surprised that the founder of Reddit, Alexis Ohanian, is married to the tennis player Serena Williams.

Redditor are always looking for better servers.

How many tennis players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

What?!? It's out? That's totally in.

Dating a female tennis player is always a good idea.

They've got good aces.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A survey was conducted for poor tennis players who were bad at sex

It was decided on a worst come worst serve basis

Two tennis players got into a shouting match.

They made quite a racket.

Why do tennis players love vending machines?

Because they don't have to wait to for their food to be served.

Tennis players grunt too much when they practice...

There's no need for all that racket.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my mum why do tennis players always sound like they are having an orgasm...

... and why does she play tennis in the bathroom

Why should you never marry a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.


I read that joke in 1998 in an SI for Kids magazine and it literally is the only joke I can tell from memory.

Hear about the tennis players that didn’t score?

Ya, well, they still made love

I’m surprised there are not a lot of Jewish tennis players.

After all, Moses served in Pharaoh’s court.

I hate the noises tennis players make

Absolute racquet

"A badminton player and a tennis player get into a car accident"

A badminton player and a tennis player get into a car accident, and it's a bad one. Both cars are heavily damaged, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the tennis player spots the other's tennis gear and says, "So you're a badminton player, that's interesting. ...

For a tennis player, what is the perfect crime?

Racketeering

Did you hear that computer scientists have designed and built the perfect tennis player?

He's a big server.

The secret of long life

German billionaire Karl Albrecht used to play golf a lot. In fact, he had a private golf club, because he was a huge fan of the sport. He lived 94 years.

American investor Kirk Kerkorian also loved sports. In his eighties, he was rated top 3 tennis player of the country in his age. He lived 9...

Aptronym is a personal name aptly or peculiarly suited to its owner.

Some famous examples of peoples whose name accurately describes them.
Usain Bolt- Jamaican sprinter.
Margaret Court- Australian tennis player.
Josh Outman- baseball pitcher.
Novak Djokovic - vaccine dodger.

This joke is not sponsored by the AUstralian open





**Q:** Can tennis players cook?

**A:** No, they can only serve and return.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man Visits His Friend In The Psych Ward

A man went to visit his friend in a psych ward. On the way to his room, he sees a patient facing a wall, pretending to swing a tennis racket. He asks him, "What are you doing?" and the guy says back "I'm a pro tennis player, and when I get out of here, I'm going to play in the Grand Slam." The man s...

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