UPJOKE
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Play On Jokes

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.

No joke.

My own play on a joke

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because Chicken had a job interview. Chicken failed. "Chicken winged" it. Chicken failed more jobs. Chicken lose money. Chicken lose house. "Chicken strips".

A group of friends put together a basketball team to play on the local town league and called the team “bye”

So far they have accumulated 4 wins from opponents no-shows.

A Jewish Grandmother Is Watching Her Grandson Play On The Beach.

All of a sudden, a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea.

She looks up and pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, my life has no meaning without him. Please bring him back.

And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new.

She looks ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It just dawned on me that the "Honk if You're Horny" bumper stickers are a play on words regarding honking the car HORN

And not just about having a high sex drive

Play on words

Me: sorry, my dog ate my homework

Prof: your dog ate your coding assignment?

Me:

Prof:

Me: yeah, it took him a few bytes

Why is Beethoven great music to play on a date?

It’s romantic

What position did Jesus play on his baseball team?

Pitcher. He gave his sermon on the mound.

What did Al Gore play on his guitar?

An algorithm.

What console do frenchmen play on?

Wii



Yes, I know this is a dad joke.

What did the ravioli play on his birthday?

Pasta Parcel.

This is a good joke to play on others. Pretend you're trying to solve a crossword puzzle- and say aloud "Postman -blank-. Any ideas?"

They'll likely say something like "Postman Pat" to which you reply- "no that doesn't fit.".

Then- if they're not completely thick- they should ask "How many letters?" and you tell 'em "A SACKFUL!"

Then they'll leave in disgust.

I like to play on words and measure objects.

You can say I'm pun to be width.

I told my mom that I found a tennis court to play on

Mom: " Now you just need friends"

What's R. Kelly's favorite chord to play on the piano?

A Minor

Which games console do religious women like to play on?

The nun-tendo wii

What type of music do u play on a boat

Rock n Row :D

What game do lonely people play on Valentine’s Day?

Uno.

What does God play on Jesus' birthday?

Revelation Time! (Come on!)

Play on Words

I really want to come up with a play on words but I don't know how it will do in front of an audience.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gamer walks into a bar...

...and asks the barkeep "you got a console to play on?" And the barkeep says "yeah, but only have one game for it." The gamer shrugs, orders a cider and sits down to play.

While he's playing another guy walks in and says "hey, that guy with the cider is playing my game!" And the barkeep asks...

I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving.

Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

Role play on Valentine's Day

I am driving with my girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, when we decide to stop over in a quiet and dark place near the route.

Nobody could ever notice us there, and things were going to start getting hot.

She suddenly starts forcing her voice and grabs her hair, and says “*I could start ta...

Mike Tyson refuses to play on any Playstation...

He is an Ex-Boxer.

You should always keep a girl who likes nipple play on speed dial.

They're good in a pinch.

What's the worst prank you can play on a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

I wrote a play on my computer

It's a play on word

Friend said he was going to rent a court for us to play on

The next time I saw him


He booked it.

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