UPJOKE
offersoftdelicatetenderizeunderbidoverbidfondaffectionatebidcrispsentimentallovesomelegal tenderboatsquire

The government was seeking for tenders to build a bridge

On Monday, the first contractor had a meeting with the minister.

"What's your quote?" the minister asked.

"$300 million" said the contractor.

"How do you come up with that figure?"

"Well," said the contractor, quietly, "$100 million for you, $100 million for me, and $10...
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What do antivaxxers and responsible bar tenders have in common?

Neither give shots to babies!

NOTE: this is a repost from r/funny by u/rawridk so if that isn’t allowed I’ll take it down
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What do you call people who take care of chickens?

Chicken tenders
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I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far.

This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.
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White House painting tender.

Donald trump wants to paint the white house. He calls for tenders from China, Europe and India.


Chinese guy quoted 3 million U$


European guy quoted 7 million U$


Indian guy quoted 10 million U$


Trump asked chinese guy, how did you quote 3 million..?" ...
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What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?

A chicken tender!

Came up with this while putting chicken tenders out at my old job. lol
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What do you call it when all the hens in the coup resign the same day from their jobs laying eggs?

Chicken tenders.
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The waiter said to me “I just want to let you know that kids eat for free.”

I said “Good! I’ll take a water and some chicken tenders, and my daughter will have a steak and a kids Bud Light.”
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What do you call chicken nugget's served in a pub?

Bar-tenders
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The rainforest cafe is getting to realistic

I was just sitting there enjoying my chicken tenders when a bulldozer destroyed 30% of the cafe
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What do you get from sensitive poultry?

Chicken Tenders
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What do you call the top candidates for fake chicken fingers?

Con-tenders.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I beat my cock until it was sore today...

Made brilliant chicken tenders!

I was at work the other day and after telling a customer what he owed, he handed me a bag of Tyson wings and drummettes.

I said to him, "Sorry, we don't accept chicken tenders."
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You can’t believe anything chickens tell you

Most of em are pre tenders
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