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Tippy Jokes

Why can’t Lebron James stand on his tippy toes?

He gets no support from his Cavs

A drunk falls into a hole

He sees a young man walking by, and he calls him over.

"Oy! Laddie! Can you help me get out of here?"

"Who are you?"

"Pastor Jones, from the local Parrish, now help me out, boy!"

"Why are you here?"

"I fell in while taking my afternoon constitutional."

"What...

I scared a German the other day

I was in Berlin at a beer garden, so I decided to get a brew in one of their traditional mugs (with the metal tippy cap). After the beer, I got hungry and went for a sausage. The guy was horrified when I told him to save a plate and just put the sausage in my mug. I guess Germans really are afraid o...

After seeing his first ballet at age 6, his parents asked him how he liked it.

It was good, but you know all those girls who were on their tippy-toes? Why don't they just get *taller girls?*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The drunk Norwegian hunters

Three Norwegian hunters had been out on their yearly hunting trip. The hunt had been a great success as they all bagged a deer.

So now they were drinking around the campfire like the tradition was after a successful hunt. The three celebrated hard and long since it was the first time they al...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was making an apple pie and realised I was missing an important ingredient. [long]

I got a rather verbose birthday card some time back containing a story - this is my retelling of it:

I was making an apple pie and realised I was missing an important ingredient.

Unfortunately, I was up to my elbows in sticky mixture and didn't really want to have to go through the faf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This fly is flying around a barn..

And he lands on a huge pile of horse shit. MMM, delicious. He eats and eats until he is absolutely stuffed. He is so full, when he tries to fly away, he get can't get airborne. He sees this pitchfork leaning on the wall, and he climbs up it, all the way to the tippy-top of the handle. He launches hi...

The Rabbit's Thesis

Story :

Scene: It's a fine, sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"

Rabbit:"My thesis."

Fox:"Hmm. What is it about?"

Rabbit:"Oh, I'm wri...

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