UPJOKE
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Les gooooo

What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?
A man will actually press and pull a microwave’s buttons and knobs.

What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis?
A man.

What kind of bees make milk?
Boo-bees.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Asshole!
Ass...

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On the first day in a Ukrainian school, the teacher introduces herself to the children.

"My name is Marivanna and I am Ukrainian," she says. "Now introduce yourselves, children."

A young boy stands up and says, "My name is Taras and I am Ukrainian."

Next, a young girl stands up and says, "My name is Oksana and I am Ukrainian."

Another lad stands up and says, "My na...

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Magicians assistant

My wife works as a magicians assistant and has picked up on some of the magic tricks.

I came home from work early the other day and she was in the bedroom. She said,’ abracadabra! Tara!’ and out of the closet jumps my best mate Dave, stark naked.

Poor bastard must have been wondering w...

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