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Pms Jokes

Who called it PMS-ing and not

Ovary-acting.

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be ab...

They call it "PMS"...

... because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

I told my girlfriend today that PMS pains aren't actually as bad as women claim they are.

Could anyone please tell me how I can get a pair of nail clippers out of my back? The hands won't reach far enough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

In honour of International Women's Day, I'd like to point out to everyone that PMS jokes are not funny.

Period.

I'm a man that suffers from PMS.

The wife gets it . . . . . I suffer

PMS is a myth

It's really just an ovary action.

PMS is not a joking matter:

#PERIOD!

.

Bloody hell, I did it again...

PMS jokes aren't funny.

Period.

Why do they call it PMS?

Because the name "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.



My buddy told me this back in 2002 and I've never forgotten this one.

Why are women moody during PMS?

Because they're ovary acting.

What’s the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

My girlfriend started pms-ing today.

I thinks it's just a big ovary action.

I always forget if the P in PMS stands for Pre or Post ...

... but in case of my wife, it stands for Permanent

How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

Six.

Why?

IT JUST DOES, OK!?!?

Northern women have PMS

Gals from the south have FTS.
Fixin' to Start

On the seventh day God rested when He should've fixed the bugs.

Just came up with this after dealing with somebody's PMS.

What is the female equivalent of "toxic masculinity?"

PMS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke rules for my house:

First of all, most all jokes are acceptable in this house.. except abortion jokes. Because jokes are all about the delivery...
Absolutely no PMS jokes. Period. No sexual assault jokes.. thats a touchy subject. Dead baby jokes on the other hand.. never get old!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The pastor states, “Everything in modern day life is explained in the Bible.”

Everyone in the congregation is trying to stump the preacher. Finally someone yells out, “What about PMS?” A hush grows through the church. The pastor answered, “That’s easy. And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!”

Two elderly men sitting in park

Two elderly men sitting in park. Both are starting to have Alzheimer symptoms. They discuss as they usually do on Monday PMs.



One of them sees a food truck across the park and tells the other one: "I'd like an ice cream, chocolate almonds ice cream. Do you want me to get you one ?"...

I've made the front page 5 times!

The girls on /r/creepyPMs are really mean and don't understand the P means Private.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's all in the Bible

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS....

One day, a new redditor is browsing /r/jokes and finds that it is nothing but upvoted posts with numbers in the titles.

Confused, he PMs an OP with a lot of upvotes and inquires, "What's up with all the number posts? What's so funny about numbers?"

"Well, you see, we got so many reposts on /r/jokes that we decided to just number all of the old OC and now we just post the numbers for the original jokes; it's mu...

An elderly couple have been married for 60 years.

One day, out of the blue, the husband announces to his wife, “After living for so long and observing so much, I have decided that men have it worse in this world.”

The wife is clearly upset by his comment, and asks him to elaborate. So the husband continues, “Women start having periods during...

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