Did you hear about the kid who was hospitalized for swallowing six of his plastic toy horses?

The doctor described his condition as stable.

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My Viagra got stucked on my throat while swallowing it

It got me a raging stiff neck for 4 hours

What did the dog say to Woody after accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear?

You got a friend in me.

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Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim. After taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape. "You see" Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command.

Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into its components." Jim is skeptical, but intrigued.

Carl continues: "For the *last* five years, I've been swallowing pieces off my uniform. It's perfect, because the guards just think it's rats chewing on it."

So Jim asks, "Well, ...

I tried swallowing a tablet without water before

And I have to say it wasn’t easy or even the best of decisions. Everyone at the Samsung store seems to agree.

An man goes to the ER after swallowing a large magnet.

When asked why, he said, “Well, last night my wife said she just wasn’t attracted to me anymore. I was planning a big surprise tonight when her belly piercing disagreed with her.”

People say swallowing eggs, flour and water all at once is a difficult task, but I beg to differ.

It's a piece of cake.

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. "We know it's late, sir, but we have some information about your wife," said one of the Mounties.

"Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted.

The Mounties looked at each other. One said,

"We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news.. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first."
<...

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What did the pirate say when they were getting their ass eaten too aggressively?

Yarrgh, slow down you're swallowing me hole!

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One day, two whales were swimming in the ocean

One day, two whales were swimming in the ocean. They came across a whalers ship and the first whale was immediately angered by this. He tells the second whale,

*“Whalers killed my brother! I want revenge! Let’s use our blowholes as hard as we can to tip the ship underneath and drown them!”*<...

They said swallowing food colouring is dangerous.

That’s because it might make you dye.

What is the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling

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