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Surprises Jokes

My girlfriend is so smart, she really surprises me!

I went golfing, and forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.

She answered: "What's up, honey?"

What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Surprises

The farmer and his wife are entertaining the local bigwigs when their son runs in and announces to his father in a loud voice, “Dad, dad, the bull’s fucking the cow.”

After a moment of shocked silence, the farmer turns to his son and calmly says, “Next time, son, be a little less explicit. Yo...

My girlfriend said she liked surprises.

But you should have seen her face when I told her I have chlamydia.

Great white shark diet surprises scientists

"It consists mostly of wildlife biologists that study sharks," said a famous wildife biologist studying sharks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kid surprises his father on the couch... [NSFW]

- Dad!! What are you doing??
- Son, this is called masturbation, and you will soon do it as well.
- Yikes!! Why would I do that???
- Because my hand is getting tired.

My girlfriend is full of surprises...

I hugged her from behind and she screamed my best friend's name.

Just written a depressing story about surprises

It’s a tale of WOAH!

My dad says he hates surprises...

So I wrapped all his Christmas presents in cellophane.

My GF said that she likes surprises for her birthday.

So I didn’t get her anything.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A women wants to surprise her husband so she visits a sex shop

And asks for something special for her husband. The owner says that he has a one of a kind frog that gives the best blowjobs a men can ask for.

She buys the frog and in the evening surprises her husband.
"I got you this frog as a present"
The husband is perplexed:
"Why did yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man visits a friend who surprises him accompanied by a new pet monkey

His friend explains that this monkey is special, and without losing time he demonstrates why. He hits the monkey in the head, and the monkey performs a fantastic blow job. Three minutes pass, he hits the monkey again and the monkey stops. The friend starts chatting casually, ignoring the monkey. The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy surprises his fiance by having her name tattooed on his penis.

In flowing script it says, "Wendy."

On their Jamaican honeymoon, he uses a public bathroom and sees a Jamaican man who seems to have the same name tattooed on his penis. The husband asks, "So your girl's name is Wendy, too?"

The guy looks down at his penis and says, "No, once de wrinkl...

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