A bad seamstress...

Rips what she sews.

When Robert's wife got a job as a seamstress he was absolutely thrilled.

Because he knew she'd need her bobbin every day!

What did the seamstress say and do when she noticed a hole in her sock?


There was a seamstress who wanted to be a singer…

One day, she found a bottle, rubbed it, and inside was a genie. The genie granted her 3 wishes. Her 1st wish was “I want to be a singer”.

Her wish was granted, and she was turned into a sewing machine.

How do you tell the difference between a seamstress and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce the word "sewer".

What do you call an evil seamstress?

A looming threadt

Why did the seamstress keep getting knocked up?

She kept getting confused when her customers said they wanted her to take the seam in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A professional fighter and a seamstress walk into a bar

The bartender asks them how their day is going. The seamstress says her day has been sew-sew. The fighter just looks beat.

The bartender takes their orders.
The seamstress orders a thimble of gin.
The fighter asks for something with some kick.

The bartender tells them a j...

I had to stop going to the outdoor seamstress camp

It was just sew in tents

The seamstress tried her hand at making jokes.

But this time she was all out of material.

What do you say to an out of touch seamstress who refuses to modernize their operation?

Ok Loomer

My friend is a seamstress for the church.

She says her job is habit forming!

How did the Victorian seamstress become bedridden?

She turned and felled.

A seamstress accidentally pulls a string and unravels her life's work...

Oops, wrong thread.

What's the most honest way to earn a living as a seamstress?

The Ernest Hemingway

What did the Italian seamstress say to the Greek playwright?


On Christmas morning, a man says to his seamstress wife "take this small metal bucket"

"as a thimble of my love"

What did the customer say to the overworked seamstress?

Wow, you seamstressed out.

(I'm so sorry)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a seamstress and a whale

A seamstress cuts up frills and a whale fucks up krill's.

I always wanted to be a seamstress...

But I could never mend-straight.

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

People say starting your own business is difficult,

but I met a lady starting her own clothing company whose signature piece was produced in a completely automated factory. She made it seamstress free.

Two guys are waiting in the unemployment line.

Two guys waiting in the unemployment line worked side by side in the factory for 17 years before it closed down.

First guy up to the window doesn’t speak good English.

The Clerk asks, “What was your occupation?”

Man: “Dieselfitter”

Clerk: (looks in book) “ok that’s $795...

It was really tense at the dress factory today because they only had a couple of hours to meet their deadline.

Everybody seamstressed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sister was hired to sew 8 bridesmaids dresses by Saturday. . .

She seamstressed but she’ll get it done. However, her skills are only sew sew.

What do you call a new dress-maker who is uncomfortable with the idea of customers testing her merchandise?

A seamstress who seems stressed when you stress the seams.

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