Stumped Jokes - 65 Hilarious Stumped Jokes

A teacher asked the students a question about bombs, which left them stumped...

So, the teacher asked a new clear question.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.

She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said,”Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.
“I’ll give you a hint,” said t...

I just stumped Siri.

I asked what "IDK" meant, and she told me she didn't know.

Donald Trump is visiting a school

In one class, he teaches the young students about a new word: 'tragedy'. Then, he asks them to use it in a sentence.

One brave girl raises her hand and offers, "If a school bus carrying 20 people drove off of a cliff and killed everyone in it, then that would be a tragedy."

"No," Tru...

The world leading expert on wasps is walking down the street when he passes a record store.

In the window he sees a record called "wasps of the world, and the sounds they make". Intrigued, he walks into the store.
He says to the shopkeeper "I'll have that wasp record in the window please. You know I'm the world leading expert in wasps, there are thousands of different species of wasp, ...

Who would steal an artificial leg?

***I'm stumped.***

A blonde and a lawyer are on a plane

And they’re sitting next to each other. The lawyer gets bored and decides to play a game.

He asks the blonde to join. The lawyer says “we’ll each ask each other a trivia question. If you get it right, you earn $5. If you get it wrong, the other person earns $5.”

Well, the blonde isn’t...

As an amateur dermatologist detective this latest case has me stumped...

I'm not too worried though alopecia it all together in the end.

Help me figure out a knock knock joke that's had me stumped for 20 years

When I was a kid my sisters and I ordered a book of knock knock jokes from the book club at school. I remember reading them to everyone who came by the house but there was one that I never understood. No one in my life has ever had a logical explanation for it and I have never forgotten it:

K...

A redhead goes to buy a bull

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one ...

An old lady was walking down the street

An old lady was walking down the street with two huge bags over her shoulders. While suddenly, one of the bags break and 100$ bills start falling on the sidewalk one after another.

A policeman going in the opposite direction notices this and alerts the lady:
“Excuse me, I think one of your...

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A 3rd grader was giving a presentation on the planets. He got stumped and whispered to his Dad 'What's this one?' Father says 'Uranus.'

The kid looks proudly to the class and says 'This is my anus.'

I really don't know how I lost my legs

I'm completely stumped

I asked my dad to tell me a decision he regretted.

I must have stumped him because he just kept staring at me.

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Two aliens landed in the desert near a petrol station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the pumps assuming it was an earthling and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, we come in peace. Take us to your leader.'

The pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien was stumped. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' But the younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Shocked and insulted by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attit...

The sheriff at the press conference said “we have a torso with no arms, legs, or head.”

“Frankly, we’re stumped.”

As a lumberjack starts his chainsaw he hears the tree begin to cry. “Please don’t cut me down!” The tree pleads, “I’ll do anything!” The lumberjack says, “Fine! If you can solve this impossible riddle that has fooled some of the greatest minds from doctors, writers to philosophers, I’ll spare you.”

The tree was stumped.

Why do trees make bad detectives?

They always get stumped!

3 nuns are travelling in a bus when it crashes...

All of the nuns died instantly, and find themselves standing in front of the Pearly Gates, where St Peter is waiting for them.

He said to the nuns, "Before I can let you in to heaven you each have to answer a question."

To the first nun, St Peter asks "Where did Adam meet the first wo...

A professor makes a bet with a student

A professor makes a bet with a student. Every question the professor asks that the student can't answer the student will owe him $1, every question the student asks that the professor can't answer he owes the student $100.

Professor: What element has the atomic number 45?

The student h...

A tree is cut down...

When the lead detective arrives, he asks the tree, "do you have any idea who did this to you?"

The tree replied, "I have no idea. I'm stumped."

Why did Anakin fail to answer the trivia question?

He was stumped.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher was testing her students' ability to guess what objects were without using their sight...

She had the kids all blindfolded and gave them things such as pine cones, little bars of soap, or small toy animals, and they had to figure out what they were by using their sense of touch or smell. Then she gave them a real treat, Life Savers in all kinds of flavors, and they had to taste them to g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes through border control on her bicycle with two panniers filled with sand.

The border guard was suspicious about it and searched through the sand, but couldn’t find anything hidden, so he had to let her through.

The next day, the same woman passes by, again riding a bike with two bags brimming with bright sand. The guard was still unable to find anything. He felt so...

A guy sits on a plane and realizes he’s sitting beside The Pope.

He’s too intimidated to say anything but after awhile The Pope taps him on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me my son, but I’m doing a crossword puzzle and I’m stuck. The clue is ‘a 4 letter word that you can call a woman’ and it ends with U-N-T.”

The man sits for a minute, stumped until he exc...

Teacher offers middle school students a monday absence. If....

...Anyone can use the term 'definitely' properly in a phrase.

So Sarah raises her hand, and says "The sky is definitely blue."

Teacher tells her: "That's a very good response! But, sometimes the sky turns rather pink, or it gets dark out, and the sky gets black. Anyone else?"

A...

How do surgeons feel when they don't know what kind of amputation to perform?

Stumped

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Mike stopped by the bar and ran into his friend Jack.

"I've been taking evening classes at the university," Mike told Jack, "and I'm learning so much." "Who is Hobbes? Who is Mill? Who is Bentham?," Mike asked Jack.

Jack replied, "I gotta admit I don't know any of them." "But do you know who Richardson is?" Jack asked Mike. Despite ...

If you walk into the forest and chop down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you chopped it down,

Do you think it's stumped?

He cut off both of my legs and then asked me a question I couldn't answer.

I'm stumped.

I'm freshly amputated but can't remember the word for my condition

I'm stumped

Three Nuns die and go to heaven.

Three Nuns die and go to heaven, but in order to enter, they must prove their faith by answering one question each.

The first nun was asked "Who was the first man on earth?"

The nun replies "Obviously it was Adam"

The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open. The first ...

i found a talking tree

i woke up one day and i heard a crying voice, i followed it and i found the source to be from a cut down tree

i said: "hello?"

the tree said crying: "what do you want?"

i asked: "you can talk?"

the tree answered: "yeah I'm a rare variant, now you answer my question: who...

Is it still considered Fisting if they have no fingers?

Really had me stumped the other day.

Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.

I was stumped.

Little Johnny is goofing off in math class and Ms. McHeiney calls on him.

"Johnny, three birds are sitting on a fence, you shoot one of them how many are left." Johnny sits up straight and says "none, the bang would make the others fly away." Ms. McHeiney says, "well, the answer is two, but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says "OK, I have one for y...

You try

Spell the word 'cow' in 13 letters – a question asked in a competitive exam Intellectuals went mad analyzing it. Highly-reputed professors were stumped thinking what could be the answer. Lecturers debated that the question itself was wrong, maybe there was a printing mistake, etc. Toppers were confu...

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Hanging out at the bar, a man is talking to his friend and says,

“I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I’m stumped.”

His friend has an idea.

“Why don’t you make up a gift certificate that says she can have 2 hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll prob...

An English man got his legs blown off

Another man runs up and says "oh my god where are your legs?!"
The English man say "I dunno, I'm bloody stumped"

A blonde and a lawyer on a long flight

A blonde is sitting next to a lawyer on a long flight. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer keeps waking her up. "Let's have a quiz," the lawyer suggests. "If I answer wrong, I'll pay you fifty euros. If you answer wrong, you pay me five."

The blonde agrees.

The lawyer goes first: "What'...

A: What did the tree say?

B: I didn't know they could speak, now I'm stumped.

What do you call a puzzled one legged man?

Stumped? Me too.

I'm trying to figure out how to be intimate with my new girlfriend who doesn't have any hands, but...

I'm stumped.

The other day, I finally asked my pretty amputee coworker out.

She didn't answer, I guess she was stumped.

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.

My friend asked me about getting fisted by a man with no fingers

Needless to say, I was stumped.

I asked my amputee daughter if she could guess what we were having for dinner tonight.

She replied with "I don't know dad I'm stumped"

Pyotr is a poor serf in Tsarist Russia... (Wife's favourite joke)

...tilling his field one day, he unearths a lamp. As he starts to rub off the dirt, a genie comes flying out and in a great, booming voice, says, "Pyort Petrovich, you have freed me! Fortunate you are, for I shall grant you any wish your heart desires!"

Pyort thinks a moment and says, "No, I ...

so there was this rich man and he was throwing a party and he invites all the people in town including the only redneck, Killroy

They were have a great time at this party.. watching the game, drinking beer and bbqing. Then the rich man announces on his loud speaker "Ladies and gentleman, i have a 30 ft man-eating alligator in my pool. Whoever's brave enough to jump into the pool and kill the gator I'll give them 1 million dol...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was having sex with a girl she had no arms

We were going at it and she was shoving what was left of her arm up my arse. She asked me what I wanted to do next. I had no idea I was completely stumped

"Answer all my questions, or I'll cut off your legs at the knees," said my interrogator.

I did pretty well for a while, but eventually he stumped me.

If a man goes into a forest and cuts down a tree and the tree cant figure out why he was cut down

Do you think the tree is stumped?

My uncle has diabetes and alzheimers

I asked him where his feet were and he was stumped.

My friend asked me “What do you call a man with no legs?”

It’s been over two days and i’m totally stumped. Any help?

After a grueling process, a tree walks into a bank and says with loud excitement "Excuse me...

I've been to a lot of branches, and this one sticks out the best to meet my needs!!!"

The branch manager looks stumped, and replies "I'll leaf you to deal with my trusted staff, but you'll have to watch how you bark around here."

The tree looked embarrassed...

"But, I'm sure we'...

My wife was always self-conscious about her amputated arm, so I tried to think of ways to incorporate it in a low-key manner during our intimate moments.

Suffice it to say that for a while I was stumped.

A Rabbi is thinking to himself one day...

"What do I do with all of these foreskins?"

As a Rabbi, he had accumulated at least a thousand foreskins and was stumped at what to do with them. Finally, he decides to take all of these foreskins to a leather worker to see if the leather worker could make something out of them.

The ...

I couldn’t think of a joke when I had my leg amputated

I was stumped

The doctors amputated my leg at the knee, but I have no idea why.

Frankly, I'm stumped.

Obi Wan Kenobi decides he wants a change of pace so decides to put his skills into becoming a marriage councillor.

One day a familiar face pops in, Luke Skywalker. Luke sits down an immediately bursts into tears as his new wife is absolutely awful. For three hours Luke talks, almost non stop, about all the horrible things she does to him - putting green milk in his cereal, signing him up to the Jar-Jar fanclub, ...

An arm amputee bought a wooden cupboard from IKEA which was sent to his home for his self assembly.

Needless to say, he was stumped.

There is an outstanding warrant for a man with a prosthetic leg who was caught importing drugs. But after a year, he has still not been caught

Police say they're stumped

I was chopping a tree for firewood

As I chopped the tree I asked it some difficult questions but it never answered.

It was stumped.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 nuns have dedicated their lives to God since they were 16.

25 years later they started talking about everything in life they missed out on. Never getting a drivers license, to their first drink at 21, or even having sex.

So they all decided they would go to their priest and ask if they can have 1 day off from being a nun. As this is a weird request t...

Quiz show

I was on a quiz show once and they asked me to come up with a 5-letter palindrome that starts with K.

It's a pity, I was stumped but if I had answered correctly I'd have won a new kayak.

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