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Tree Stump Jokes

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Imagine a woman with tree stumps for boobs..

It would be weird, wooden tit?

If I told you that I had carved a female sheep from a tree stump...

Wood Ewe believe it?

Today, I had a hard time getting a tree stump out from under the ground...

That was pretty root of it if you ask me

A man is walking through a forest and sees a huge hole

The whole is really deep. It's huge and dark and seems bottomless, so the man decides to see how deep.

He throws in a pebble and listens, but it doesn't make a sound.

He throws in a big stick; still no sound

He throws in a huge tree stump he prised up out of the ground; nothin...

A pilot encounters engine trouble during a storm over the Pacific Ocean

In a desperate attempt, he crash-lands on an uncharted island and loses consciousness.

A day or so later, he awakens to find himself bound and being dragged by some native savages to their camp.
The natives are going wild at the spectacle, as he is left in the center of the camp next to a...

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Sick Dwarf

So two Dwarves are walking through the woods when one of them starts to feel really queasy, he turns to the other dwarf and says, ‘I really do not feel well! I feel really dizzy and light headed’
The second dwarf tells his sick pal to sit down on a tree stump put his head between his legs and tak...

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If you woke up in the woods?

Guy: "If you woke up in the middle of the woods bound and gagged bent over a tree stump with your trousers round your ankles and your arse red raw would you tell anyone?"

Girl: "No I don't think I would"

Guy: "Do you want to go camping?"

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A hare is running around the forest...

Runs, runs, and suddenly he sees a fox, smoking weed. So he stops, and says: "Hey, fox, stop smoking this shit, drugs are bad! Do something for your health instead, come run with with me!" The fox thinks about it for a second, then puts out the joint and comes running with the hare.

The run, ...

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A Native American Man Walks Into a Brothel.

So a young native American man walks into a brothel. He walks up to one of the ladies working there and says

"I want to have sex sex"

The lady then says okay and she invites him into the room in the back. Naturally, she begins to undress and get ready. She waits for him to do something...

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Four men go hunting...

They split up into pairs and hunt in different areas. Later, two of the hunters come across the other pair to find one hunter bent over a tree stump with the other fucking him in the ass.

Shocked, the other hunters yell, "What the hell are you doing?"

The hunter who is doing the fucki...

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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux had been hunting together ever since they were kids.

Squirrel, rabbit, quail, deer, you name it - cleaned and on the table. Now old men, Thibodeaux had developed a habit that greatly annoyed ol' Boudreaux... he would wander off, find a nice comfy spot to rest, and fall asleep, leaving Boudreaux to wander the woods looking for his friend.

Well, ...

Metal detectors are valuable archeological tools.

A Brit with a metal detector dug up a chunk of land along the Thames and found a few stray pieces of jewelry and copper cables buried 10 feet deep. The newspaper headlines read "Excavation proves telephony in Britain was widespread 100 years ago."

Not to be outdone, an Irishman dug up a secti...

The lion invited all the animals to a party he was having...

All was going well and everyone was enjoying themselves. But a few hours later the lion notices that they'll be out of beer soon. He calls the monkey and gives him some money. "I need you to get some more beer for the party. Be quick about it!"

The monkey was enjoying himself far too much to...

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